A
female
age
36-40,
*oices_inmy_head
writes:I am 20 year old virgin, and I never had a problem with this as I was happy with myself. Now though I am getting lonely and want a boyfriend, however I am so nervous and unexperianced I normally panic and end up not even going out with them on the first date. I have a new boy interested in me and I just don't know what to do, I need some help in how to stay cool and deal with this! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, LauraE +, writes (17 July 2007):
20 isn’t so old to be a virgin. I know most people may have experience by then, but it’s not like you are 35 or something. Secondly, everyone is nervous on a first date, him included. If he asks you out, arrange to do something light-hearted like bowling. Then you will have something to do apart from sit and look at each other, worrying about what to say next. If you can laugh at how terrible you are at bowling, or whatever, all the better. Tell yourself not to expect any more than one date. If it goes badly, it doesn’t matter does it? Loads of dates don’t go well, and people just move on. Remind yourself that he isn’t a monster or a driving test examiner, he is another human being who just wants to know you better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007): I was exactly the same, especially at that age where you are expected to have lost your virginity etc, the only way to get a boyfriend (and gain experience) is by biting the bullet and going for it. That's what I had to do, and just think if it goes badly make a joke out of it or you don't even have to meet up again but you'll have nothing to lose.You'll regret it if you cancel constantly, cos who's to say the guy you cancel on isn't your future husband?! To be honest if you always cancel you may end up getting a reputation of doing this so guys will just stop asking, or try and seem uninterested.If he's really keen and genuinely interested he will stick around (and won't worry about the whole lack of experience thing), and maybe go out in a group to begin with or make it something light hearted + fun that you can go off and do together. It will do you good just to gain experience of dating, even if nothing comes of it. Good luck though, trust me you're not the only one who feels like this! x
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (17 July 2007):
 You are not alone, it is only natural to be nervous when embarking on a first date. That feeling you get when the butterfles are racing round in your tummy, and the love sick feeling, and the worry of what you are going to talk about. The guy you like is no doubt as nervous as you are about the first date with you. All i can say is when you meet him the best thing you can do is just be calm and relaxed, and most importantly just be yourself. Once you get the first date out of the way the second time you will both feel more at ease.
Hope it goes well x
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