A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear aunts and uncles, I often do overthink stuff and I feel like I am in this situation too. All I am asking here if for you guys to hear me out and give me your views and comments. Sorry if this post gets too long. Thank you in advance to all who reply. 3Back Story: I met this guy online in October last year. We exchanged a few messages but then I disappeared from that dating site and we all lost contact. This year in January, I noticed I had some pending messages from some people on FB. This guy had been texting me here for awhile and I hadn't seen any of the messages. I was happy that he even bothered to get in touch with me after I disappeared like that. We got texting and hit it off. We texted each other every day, sometimes all day. He shared many times that he actually did like me a lot after learning about our shared similarities and dislikes! We are actually a lot like each other - career driven, shy, anti-social, etc. Somehow we found solace in talking to each other. Since then, we have met twice in February. After our first meet he confessed he really liked me and wanted to kiss me. On our second meet, we kissed. It was all going so well! We both confessed that it was more than just 'liking each other' at this point. Recently, he even told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me! I feel the same way for him. He has recently asked me to go on a trip he was taking with his colleagues. I know he is serious about us. He talks about his future plans and always says that I will be a part of it for sure! We are definitely in a relationship. I love him! Where I start overthinking: Like I've said, we are both career driven. We love our jobs and are kind of workaholics, him a little more than me. Our schedules don't match up. In the three months we have been talking, we've met only twice. The few times I bring up that we should meet, he says he has work related stuff on his schedule; even on his day offs. I have seen that even on the two meets, he was constantly bombarded with work calls, even though they were supposed to be his weekly offs. I understand this and want to support him. Now he has stopped telling me about his weekly work schedule and we haven't met after our last week. I've mentioned it to him so many times that I just want to support him and I am looking forward to the trip we are about to take. I don't want to be too pushy and constantly pressure him to meet me as I know this will put him off. He is with me only because I understand that he is a busy person, which i do. But in my head, I overthink and get anxious. I am fine with being in a relationship with a busy person. I know that we will have time to ourselves on this trip and eagerly look forward to it! But in recent days, he has even stopped texting me during the day like we used to. He directly texts when he's back home from work. Even then, he showers me with love and attention. I just miss him so much during the day but at the same time don't want to put any pressure on him to talk to me while he's working! I know he will be there for me if I need him, i know he cares and loves me like he says he does. Why do I still overthink these situations? Why can't I just believe the things I know? Why do I let little things get to me? Why can't I let this otherwise amazing relationship with this amazing person just be?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 April 2017):
 Me personally this would not be enough for me, I would need more in terms off a relationship than meeting up twice in months and both times him being busy on his phone, so my personal opinion doesn't fit because you say you are happy with this.
But you are kidding yourself in to believing you are happy with what he has to offer, but the only person you are fooling here is yourself. Off course you want more contact, go for the weekend away and see how things go, but it is possible that he simply does not have time to be in a relationship.
A
female
reader, Slippers  +, writes (25 March 2017):
I think the fact that he has decided since he's hooked you to take the texting or effort down quite significant to me . I'm the kinda person who feels a texts takes a moment especially if your not living together, coming home to each other or meeting regularly . I get that he textes lots when home .. but it does seem strange that he can't send over a text not having a text frenzy chat esp if working but one text isn't going to kill him ..
Does he text at lunch . Do you get same lunch breaks?
When dating my husband just wouldn't go home .. my mother I was pretty young would say is he not away home yet. She worried he'd be tired .
Men make it very plain where their interest lies and will go out their way to keep it .
To me it seems your relationship on his side as become like warm milk .. but not hot enough for him to want to keep sipping .
I would directly ask when he will be seeing you again and then plan how often, if your his future then you need to get ready for his hectic life ? And he has to make room for you init . I think being honest I see a few red flags . Regarding consistency.. and backing his words with actions . To me there just isn't that many .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2017): How do ya handle a hungry man?I dick dangler!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 March 2017):
 It's normal to feel the way you do. You've only been with each other for a short time. When he mentioned long term plans, it was reassuring but at the same time you begin to build expectations such that if he doesn't text you back, you worry about his intentions. You would feel this way if your meetings are sporadic. It is a challenge to be flexible and patient at the same time. When you can't let things be, it can also be your moods. When you mood is up, you tend to remember sweet memories with him. When your mood is low, you tend to think about negative things about this relationship. Take care of yourself and be careful not to push him too hard. In fact caution is necessary when we are living in a world full of impulsive people and liars. Sometimes, the heart just knows; you believe in fate but a lot of the times people are angry with themselves for not trusting their gut feeling that things are too good to be true.
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