A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16 going on 17 and ive allways suffered from a huge lack in self confidence. my low self asteem holds me back in almost everything which i would apprciate advice on; but the actual reason im on this forum is because ive never been in a serious relationship or had any sexual experience. Its not as if ive never had the chance for a relationship, but i just allways seem to push them away. my confindence when it comes to boys has grown since ive started college, but i seem to only be able to form a friendnship or strike up a conversation with boys im not really attracted to and even then i still worry what they think of me, as i feel as though everyone is consitantley judging me.I even find myself strange as i actually do get complimented quite a lot but no matter how hard i try, i just simply cant except a compliment; a lot of guys have often mistaken me for being stuck-up even though im the opposite of that, i know this is because i appear not to make an effort to get to know them and dont accept advances or flirt ,but its not because im stuck up its just because i simply cant do it.I find it really hard as most of my friends are in relationships, and at college i tend to be private as they are all sexualy experienced. so if anyone has advice, all would be appriciated. Thanks.
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female
reader, lynxy  +, writes (21 January 2011):
 well girl, I really feel so identified with you in this situation, I was like that when before. I think you're just not able to talk with guys you are attracted to because you like them and you care too much about what they think about you. But actually it doesn't help you to worry about it the less you care the more result you are going to see, who says you have to flirt with them? but if you want to try something , talk with the guy you like first on facebook or so sometimes indirect talks works better till you are ready. if you try that on preasure sure you'll screw up everything, trust me far better if you can't now , you will see with the time it will go better. things come when they have to and really you have time don't hurry trying to get sexual experiences or relationships you could regret it later.
i was like you once desperated about getting a boyfriend, make some guys interested in me all the stuff , I tried everything, I also dated guys I was not so attracted I thought it would give confidence or so but nothing ever worked well and when I finally gave up and didn't care so much about it I found a wonderful person, then don't pay attention to what others say it's not worthed at all and soon you might find somebody who sees how you really are.
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