A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:i only seem to attract men with girlfriends, or wives and i can't help it. When i meet a guy when i'm out and we hit it off and i started texting him it has turned out the past few times that they have already got a girlfriend or in some cases wives with children.I would always ask if hey're single and they always seem to lie, is there something wrong with me that i only seem to be attracting these low lifes?? How would i know in future whether or not to trust a man when he tells me he's single??
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ Ceberus - is there really only one type of place that singles hang out?? I just don't know anymore, do you think maybe i should try out other places to hang rather than going to the same place every week?? Basically i dress for the mood i'm in, when i go out to a bar i'm dressed for a night out on the town, when i'm out clubbing it is the same. I am not a fan of showing too much cleavage, therefore i prefer to show a bit of leg however would not wear a short dress or skirt. If a guy talks to me i would talk to them, i would never go over to a man and start chatting to him first as i don't feel a i have the confidence for that..
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 December 2010):
 It does sound odd. A change of something is definitely what you need though. Perhaps try being very direct, and ask if they are taken, and if they are then tell them you are not interested before anything else develops. Im gonna guess you hang out in a type of environment where guys typically are taken and when you flirt/are friendly they take it the wrong way. You're running into a lot of sleazeballs... Confident guys can be confident while single as well, but many get more confident when they have a girl to fall back on should they get rejected by other women.. standard sleazeball. Or, they are confident and stop trying so hard which is attractive as well, and you are reading their friendlyness wrong? Could it be they are just being nice and you interpret it the wrong way?
I suggest if these men approach you, that you step up and do some hunting yourself. Ask around, figure out who's single, ask someone out on a date etc. Get to where the single guys are!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): You're meeting them in the wrong places.
Not to put any ideas into your head at all and not to presume nor assume anything.
But guys looking to cheat aren't going to go looking for a girl that they might think would be difficult to get.
Please don't take that the wrong way but have a think to yourself if there's anything about the way you dress or act when out that would give them the impression that you're a "good time" girl.
If there isn't then it's just probably a case of dumb luck, or you could just be that hot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ chigirl - it is mostly me attracting them, out of about the last 10 guys i would say it would be at least 6, not good odds. I just don't know if it is me that is doing something wrong. I supose i am attracted to the confident type, but i thought that men could be confident and single at the same time. I'm just so confused..
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): Maybe start meeting guys in new places.
Chances are if they're happy to have an affair they're pretty easy and slagy. Why not try groups of stuff your interested in a lot of singles use them to meet like minded people! I plan on doing that when I'm older if I'm single
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (4 December 2010):
I have no idea why that would happen. Could be just bad luck, but how many times out of all men you meet have they been taken? Were you the one who were attracted to these men, or did they approach you? It could be they send of some signal that you are attracted to (stability, mature, confident etc) or it could be you are sending of some signals that make you attractive to these men. I don't know really, so please do give some more information.
The clue in either case is that you need to change something in your routine to get the single guys... but what?
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