A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I'm driving myself crazy with doubts and need some advice before I drive my bf crazy, too, please. We've been together 6 months now, things are really great, he's told me he's really happy and that he loves me:) We both work shifts, so see each other around our work patterns and always have fun together. So here's the thing: I've lately got into a pattern when I only feel content and happy if I know I'm going to see him at some point, which isn't good, is it? So he invited me to stay over with him in his new apartment on Monday. Had a lovely time. He worked overnight last night, and is next at work on Saturday. He texted me today to say hi, how's your day? I'm pleased to hear from him, but I know that I'm going to have this weird unsettled feeling until we make arrangements to see each other again. I feel stupid about this-I have my own job, my own friends, my own hobbies, but I still want to know when I'm going to see him again and will only feel happy once I know that there is a plan for us to meet up again...so silly of me, I know :(I think I kinda feel insecure, like, if he doesn't make plans to see me again, maybe it means he doesn't want to see me, or doesn't like me? It probably stems from my last relationship, which ended 15 months before I started seeing my current bf after I discovered my ex was cheating on me, had a secret cellphone, was sending explicit messages to females on Facebook, etc.The other problem is, when I'm not with my bf, I do sometimes wonder what he's up to. I know he was on adult dating websites before he met me, and he is popular with girls, all of which makes me feel uneasy. He hasn't ever done anything to betray my trust, but sometimes I feel like it's inevitable and I'm just waiting for the day to come when I find out he is betraying me. He is gorgeous and caring and funny, all the things a girl would look for, and I guess I feel that, one day some equally gorgeous girl is going to catch his eye and he'll be gone. The other thing that bothers me is that his work colleagues are pretty much all cheating on their girlfriends and wives, although my bf tells me he has told them he thinks they're behaviour is not fair.He has told me that he has never cheated in previous relationships, and that ex-gfs actually cheated on him. He's also told me (out of the blue!) that he wouldn't ever want to hurt me, that he wants us to grow old together, and is happier than he's ever been before, although i know guys often tell girls what they think we want to hear, right?This all sounds crazy, I know, and I have never told him about any of this. As far as he knows, I am a happy go lucky girl, happy in my relationship with him. Sometimes I think it would be easier to be single than to love someone and risk being hurt:( I realise these problems are my problem, and that if I don't fix myself, I could end up behaving in ways that will ruin the relationship, so would be so grateful for your advice.
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female
reader, Sheely  +, writes (14 March 2011):
i finest thing in you is you let it out ,all what are you facing so thats nice but in any kind of relation you need to have trust,even never ever talk about your past relationships with your present one ,once if you said thats enough no need to discuss about it deeply and coming to your problem "meeting" this is not a kind of stupidity but you want to see him then only you feel happy the happiness comes when you feel him not seeing him so you need to build the best thing that is feel the love ,pain and also him.dont ever bother about that he might get attracted to the beauty never inferior because men doesn't only need the beauty its only 20 % consideration so first build "the art of conversation" strongly this leads to the confidence for you and also understand him because men will always think in one way but its a boon for girls to think in multi-way so build your confidence and conversation and trust then the success comes your way .all the best buddy.
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