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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: i think theres something wrong with me.im 18 years old, single. sometimes i love being single, but i have so much trouble with guys. they either like me TOO much(is this possible or is it just me)and they ring me constantly, or they mess me around. then when iv lost them i become obsessed for months afterwards..im still not over my ex boyfriend, who i only went out with for 2 months a year ago. he left the country-he was so perfect for me.i think about him still everyday. why do i get so obsessed??and why do i feel suffocated when guys are obsessed with me???thankyou so much for your help x x x x
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (19 April 2007):
 I don't think you know what you want right now. When you have them, they're not what you want and once they're gone, you start getting a thrill off the memory of them, even though the reality wasn't good at all. We often do this to ourselves when we're bored or when we want the memory of something to be better than it actually was.
You need to take your mind off guys, all of them, and concentrate on you for a while. The right man will come along for you but not when you're obsessing over it and searching for him desperately like this. You haven't met 'the one' you just think you have because you have no one else to think of right now.
Once you get your head straight, you'll be so much happier and well-balanced. Then, when you do meet someone, you can really give it your all and know you're not causing the problems if any do arise.
As for them liking you 'too much', I think you just weren't sure how you felt about them and felt suffocated by them liking you a lot. Once you know he's what you want, you won't feel as suffocated and you will want to be with him as much as he does with you.
Good luck and chill out, there's not rush to fall in love. Mr Right always comes along when you least expect it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2007): I think it's healthy to feel suffocated when someone is obsessing about you, just like it's NOT so healthy when you do it to others.
When I've behaved like that it's usually because I felt I was missing something without that other person. If you can take a hard look at yourself and figure out why you think that guy is perfect for you, or will make YOU perfect, you can start figuring out how to have the quality for yourself that you see in him.
I've also found (corny as it is) that a good spiritual practice really helps resolve feelings of "not enough" in me. And when I feel "enough" on my own, I don't make other peoples problems (their obsessing) or their lack of interest MY problem. It's about them ... focus on what's inside you and develop it.
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