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female
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*issMouse
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, we met at university where we were studying for the same degree and we got together 6 months after my previous boyfriend and I split up after a four year relationship.When I graduated last year (I was in the year above him) I got a job in a small market town where I didn't know anyone. If I hadn't been with my boyfriend I would have most likely gone back to the large vibrant city where my parents live.Currently, we live in a house that I have a mortgage for. I feel quite isolated and trapped as I am about two hours drive from most of my family and friends. I am bored in the relationship and have recently been wondering it this it waht it will be like for the rest of my life.Things that have always irritated me about my partner are becoming unbearable. He relies on me for everything and despite being an adult he is incapable of making his own decisions. As I have my own decisions to make, I feel it is unfair that he asks me to make his as well.I have always been a very independent person and i find it very difficult to have such a dependent person as my other half.We still have fun together and enjoy doing the same things but I no longer feel physically attracted to him. He feels like a good friend or a family member, not my boyfriend. He loves me unconditionally and I feel that I will never be able to love him the way he loves me.Is there life left in this relationship or is there no hope??
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2006): Hi missmouse, It depends on whether you want it to last? your obviously having your doubts, about the relationship, I think its normal to not be "in love" with your man now, its been scientificly proven that feeling does fade so I gatherd from a article in the Gardian I read,that you can stop this by renewing the spark
which I should imagin is difficult when your not attacted to him as you where, maybe you may need to play the field a bit, It sounds clich'e I know, but maybe its better then leading him on! he does sound a bit indsisive but you sound mehodical and sure of yourself which is totally diffrent so you could be clashing there!
Of course if you left him it would mean a big life change for you and him, but maybe if you carry on you may feel hes holding you back, which Im sure is the last thing he would want to do you sound like you care for him so could stay close friends or try and make it work with him but I'll Leave it with you now, Good Luck
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (27 October 2006):
 Hi dear,
There have been alot of changes occuring in your life within the last year. You have moved from a big town to a small neighnour, where u barely know anyone. That alone isnt easy for some people to adjust to. Also u dont get to see family and friend as u wished to.
what i would advise u to do for now is go on a long visit or holiday. Take time off work, forget about everything and go have fun. Visit parents, see friends.... By the time u finish it all u will feel refresh and know what u really need to do. You will find out if it is just the change of environment that constitues the problem or your partner as a whole becomes sometimes when we dont feel happy nothing else matters and everything seems to bore or irritate us.
Goodluck dear
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