A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Please help. Im 23yrs old been with my fiancee 3 yrs we have kids. I do not enjoy sex at all. I think the problem is i cant get horny or wet. It used to be that i would get horny and we would have sex and sometimes id love it and sometimes i would wish it was over. But now i cant get horny for sex and when we have it i just focus on him because it either hurts me or i dont rly feel anything, no pleasure. I do have sex with him when im dry now because i cant get horny. Ive tried teaching him to use his fingers but it hurts. He does not like giving oral sex, so its not an option. I have mentioned vibrators and he doesnt want to at all and it hurts his feelings. I just dont want it to stay this way, years down the road i never even want to consider cheating, i never would but i dont want that to even go through my head, if that makes sense. I love him very much i would do anything for him. I want sex to be a pleasurable loving experience again, not something i want to end as soon as its begun. Im desperate.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (11 September 2012):
 Women take so much more work to have sex than men. Buy yourself a good lubricant, maybe one of those flavored ones and when he gets in the mood, juice yourself up. The reason is this, when you're dry it will never feel good when he strokes or rubs you down there and unless you're already in the mood it will actually be a mood killer. However if you have lubed yourself, when he runs his fingers over your clit, it will feel so much better, then he might actually be able to stimulate you because you won't be dry. Never, ever have sex when you're dry. It is the worst feeling in the world and it will absolutely make you dread sex forever. Try to have your b/f finger you AFTER you've put the lube on, so you can get turned on and hopefully become aroused. If you don't want you b/f to know you're using lubricant, then put some on when you're in the bathroom (provided you have a crystal ball and just instinctively know when he's going to want sex) just make sure he doesn't start having sex with you until he at least plays around a bit down there and helps you get into the mood. Good luck.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 September 2012):
 how about using some LUBE????
we use lube a lot... invest in the very good silicon based stuff... more expensive but worth it.
if he won't use a vibrator then you can tell him that you will have to find a lover who will.
my man can't use his fingers because he sucks at it
he won't do oral
so we pleasure him
i get my cuddles and hugs and kisses
and i take care of my own orgasms. sometimes with him helping me with breast play or holding me... but having an orgasm during sex... NOT GOING TO HAPPEN...
if your guy is unwilling to let you use a vibrator because his feelings are hurt... hurt them more and tell him:
"without a vibrator I'm just a vessel for your dick honey and eventually I will tire of this enough that I WILL leave you.... is that what you want?"
because at least my guy CARES that he can't please me... sounds to me like your guy doesn't even care... and if they don't care they are not worth it.
...............................
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