A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:HiIm due to start university next year,..my problem is that I have never had any true close friends. Does anybody have any advice on how to make friends??I am not particularly shy or annoying and therefore had trouble talking to people, it is just I never know what to say! please help! cheers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2005): The best way to meet new people is to put yourself in places where there are likely to be other people who share your same interests and values such as classes, ticket lines at sporting or cultural events, cashier lines at stores and restaurants. Join an organization! Get information on university groups based on religion, athletics, academics, political/special interests, ethnicity/culture, and service or charity.
Once you're with people, initiate a conversation by, asking a question, commenting on the situation, asking for or offering an opinion, expressing some interest, showing some concern, or offering or requesting help. Once you've engaged someone in conversation, let him or her know you're listening and interested. Make eye contact, adopt an open posture, reflect the feelings you hear, paraphrase what he or she is saying, and ask for clarification if you don't understand. And, again, remember no risks, no gains. Don't be discouraged if you and the other person don`t "click" first and every time. Truse friendships take time and effort so remember, you should be selective. Not all the people you'll meet will be "true friend" material but that's okay. Just smile, laugh and take a positive attitude. It will work out and I wish you the best of luck.
Hugs,
Irish
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2005): Hi,
Talking to people is really hard, I know. You can't find the right words to say to them. But try finding people who shares your interests. It'll be easier. Since you'll both talk on that interests and get to know each other more, you'll be relax in each others' presence. The more you get to know about the person, the easier it is to talk to them. Joining clubs is a good way to meet people who shares your interests. I hope this helps.
Sincerely,
A girl who was passing by
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2005): Well,first you should try to find out the reason for this.It's a kind of skill to communicate with people.We know that some of us are better at it and others not that much. By the way,english is not my native language,so please forgive me if there are mistakes.So,I think everybody has their way to find friends and everybody has their way to attract attention or just to start a good conversation.I also find it hard to talk to other people freely,but i have found out the reason-lack of confidence.If your problem is the same,you should try to analyse it.You're not worse than the others and I'm sure you have your own way to shorten the distance between you and all the new people you meet.There are billiards of words,just grab a few of them and say them out loud!!!Remember that it's up to you to solve this problem,I wish you success!!!Whatever happens,don't forget to be yourself-there's nothing more importnat than that!Good luck:)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2005): I have had the same problem, and realised that for people to be interested in you, you have to be interested in them.
May I recommend a book entitled Coversation by Theodore Zeldin. It might give you a starting point for things to discuss.
Bear in mind that close friendships don't happen overnight. If you join a club or something that you are interested in, you will get to meet likeminded people. See, you'll already have a shared passion to talk about.
Good luck
p.s. don't think that a best friend has to be the same sex as you..
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