A
female
age
30-35,
*rincess1512
writes:hey, my problem is i never ever get the guy i like! NEVER. and i dont know why coz im quite pretty and all. I liked this guy for 9 years but nothing happened. Finally moved on. Got to know another guy, wasnt quite attracted to him at first. But, he showed interest and my friends were like why not, hes hot and you should give other guys a chance and stuff.So, i started kinda liking the guy but then he jokingly asked out my friend and my feelings for him died right there and then. Now, he keeps on trying to get in contact and meet up but im least interested and bored of him. My newest crush is my neighbor. He is pretty hot or so i think. But, not all that in a general overview but i really am fond of him and he's acting aloof :( His mom was here for a few days and she loved me completely. She was trying to fix us up but at that point i was busy with my semester and wasnt that into him. How should i increase our interactions as we barely see eachother only on our way in and out. I added him on facebook but he dint reply to the "hey" i sent him on chat. Could have his reasons for not doing so but cant give him benefit of doubt. Need to take it to the next level that is friendship without looking to desperate!! HELP!!
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female
reader, princess1512 +, writes (31 January 2010):
princess1512 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwith the second guy, we were kinda flirting and stuff..but something went wrong. Anyway, i dont really care about that anymore. Just worried about this new guy coz i really really want him. I really want to get to know him better. But, we barely talk. Only time is when i need some jar opened or something. I tried to talk to him once by taking some home cooked food to him but unfortunately at that time, his friend opened the door. He was in bed. His friend looked at him, he got out of bed and they both kinda laughed. That completely confused me! I added him on facebook recently and tried talking too. But, i dont want to come across as desperate or something. Dont have clue as to what i should do! I dont wana scare him away. What makes it more difficult is that we have no mutual friends, different cultures. The only common thing as of now is that we are neighbors.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (31 January 2010):
You're not moving quite fast enough. There was a guy you liked for nine years, and you did't say anything. There was this other guy, and you didn't say anything, and now there's this third guy, and you're not really saying anything to him either. Keep trying to talk to him, and if he does respond, tell him you like him and would like to get to know him more.
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A
female
reader, grey_eyed_phoenix  +, writes (31 January 2010):
Darling, sadly the last like of your description is the problem. It sounds like you are desperate. Dating is about having fun and playing the field. You cannot be so fixated on a guy. They feel like they are being hunted, and they like to "be" the hunters. I put "be" in quotations because well frankly it is more like they like to "feel" like the hunter. As long as they don't catch onto the fact that you are going after them. Seriously, relax. Have fun. Meet people. That is what being young is all about. When you are not looking for anything it will find you. I promise. I felt the same way you do now when I was younger. Then I stopped looking, and the guys came almost literally out of the woodwork. If you want to see if you can still make it work with your neighbor, then you are going to have to change your strategy. The next time you see him, you need to act a little aloof. It will make him sit up and pay attention and stop looking down his nose at you. Plus, his mom trying to set you two up puts you in a worse position because he obviously doesn't want to take her advice. It's not fun to have people pushed at you. It is quite uncomfortable really. If you are facebook friends now great, but don't contact him to say hi. Give it maybe 2 weeks and then ask for help with something plausible, like fixing a bike or physics or calculus hw or electronic things or his advice on something. Still act decently aloof. You have to make friends with this kid first, and since his mom took away the front door, which is being normally friendly, you have to go through a window, which is making him come to you. Don't get all excited. Just be you. (Us girls are waaay cooler than a lot of guys give us credit for.) He might open up to you and tell you what is really going on in his household or with him if you give it time. Seriously, it is not normal at all in my experience for parents to fix their children up at this age. Maybe when they are 30 and their parents want them to get married and get busy so they can have grand kids, but otherwise not so much.I wish you the best of luck!
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