A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok my guy and I have been together almost a year, we are engaged and buying our first home together. I'm kinda scared to go on with this because I think he misses the first girl he was engaged to in high school! They were thogether 3 years and he dumped her for a girl that was 6 years older then he was. Him and his mom talk about the ex all the time but now she is married and has a kid. Am I just paranoid or can he still be in love with her and still want to marry me and say he is in love with me or could he be using me to try to make her jealous? What's his deal? I need a man's point of view but all advice helps.
View related questions:
engaged, his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes we are both in our early 20s I have been married once to a very abusive man who had affairs and got two other women pregnant! He was an drink and drug addict. I have three kids that the new man takes very good care of. He is a wonderful father the biological dads have nothing to do with the kids! He don't treat any of us bad but I am nervious! He is a great provider lover father and very passionate he stands by me no matter what but the first girl seems to be on his mind and I have told him how I feel when they get on this kick. He has stopped bringing her up all the time its his mother now.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): Let me see, he is in his early to mid-20s and has already been engaged twice - to you and to this other girl. And you’re engaged after only a single year of being together. Which means that he’s quick to commit. Too quick perhaps? I don’t know. You know him better than me. You feel that he still harbours feelings for a girl he was with for a long time, only to run off with some other girl when the passion overtook him.
Personally, I think this guy is generally well-meaning and does genuinely care about you a lot, but tends to be overwhelmed by the euphoria of romantic passion. How do you know that after a few years together he won’t run off with some new girl he crosses paths with and ignites his passion once more? A year is too soon to be planning marriage, especially given your relative youth and his romantic history. By all means continue to develop and nurture this relationship, but don’t rush into marriage until you are as certain as possible (and absolute certainly is never possible) that he will not do the same thing to you that he did with Girl # 1 back then. Putting off marriage for a while longer (maybe by extending the engagement indefinitely if you don’t want to call it off altogether) is the safest bet for both of you at this time.
...............................
|
