A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I really like this guy in med school and I have for a long time but I'm so confused. He's like the perfect guy and when I first saw him years ago I knew he was the one for me. Anyways I didn't think he was interested in me back then and it turns out he really was - in a big way. I'm a little clueless in relationships. He recently pointed out all the time he asked me out back then and all the times I refused and said no. It's true! But I didn't realize it! I had just just moved to this new town and I broke up with my asshole alcoholic boyfriend of 5 years, whom I still talked to up until recently...all this to say that I really had no idea he was into me back then and I feel really stupid. It hurt when he dated other women... I've been single but I've been recently seeing this other guy (nothing is really happening)So after not really talking for a long time we go out (first guy) for lunch together and I felt all those emotions again. He suggested we meet up the next day and he was a little flirtatious. Then he asks me out on a date that weekend and I don't think it went very well. Maybe I said something wrong? He didn't seem very interested at the end of it. Anyways, then he asks me out again and again and we have such a wonderful time - it was like a fairy tale. I ask him out again and he starts to put his arm around me that night and I get uncomfortable. I tell him how I'm confused and I ask him if he's interested in me. He goes "YES!" but I didn't know... he's so handsome. I was just so happy to be with him. We talked a lot and I learned how he was really interested in me before but I always said no (I didn't mean to, I actually really liked him back then). I was so overwhelmed and I feel so stupid. I really fucked everything up. I mean there's this other guy now...and I don't know how I feel anymore. The timing is all wrong. I wish this first guy had asked me out before - but he did - but I didn't know - but this second guy was really clear - oh I feel so clueless.Anyways the first guy tells me how he's clearly interested in me and that there's no doubt of that (he even bought me flowers) and I tell him how I like him too. I'm so attracted to him and I really like this guy but I like the second guy too. Anyways I tell the first guy that I'm sorry but I'm not interested hoping that we can still be friends. He emails me back saying that he's not mad because I've always told him "no" so nothing has changed.He doesn't talk to me at school anymore and practically ignores me in class now! I feel gutted. The second guy's being really sweat but I'm still thinking about the first guy. I don't usually cry but I've been crying recently, I feel really silly. I'm sad because I don't think this first guy is ever going to talk to me again and now classes are over so I don't think I'm ever going to see him again. Why won't he even talk to me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): He won't talk to you because you were being weird, and it probably got to him. If a guy really likes you, he doesn't want you to be "confused". That would piss me off. As a guy I would try to move on and find a different girl if one was acting like you did.
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