A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I know that everyone goes through a break up and I am now currently going through one as well. We were on and off a lot and it was officially over yesterday. I am falling apart. I have talked to him and he is hanging out with his friends and he is doing fine. Everyone tells me that he is just faking, there is no way he is doing fine, but he told me he would call me yesterday to talk things through. He never called so at 9pm last night I called him and he told me he was busy all day hanging out with his friends. He sounded fine. Not upset at all. And here I am falling apart crying constantly and very confused. How can you date and live with someone for 9 months, buy them a promise ring, and just not care???? I feel like pure crap and like I really wont meet anyone else. I thought I knew him so well and now it seems I didn't know him at all. Like I would read this post and just think, well he just got over it. But you have to nderstand his personality to get how I feel. He has been left by all of his girlfriends he never leaves someone on his own, he is very attached to whoever he dates, he said he was in love with me and has never felt that way before, he quit the military for me... I really don't want to hear any comments about how he just moved on. My sister says he is going to realize he messed up. I called him today to tell him to get his things and he just didn't answer. It is so out of character I can't even describe it. And you will probably tell me to keep myself busy but the saddest part is I don't have friends or a job (I'm looking) but basically I have nothing to do but sit around and think about things. I won't just go out on my own ever like people say to do either. I just want someone to talk to more than anything else but don't feel comfortable just emailing whoever. So if you do want to talk and don't mind listening to all of this I would be greatly appreciative. Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): Babes, your boyfriend is probably hurting.. I don't know why you finished, but you must accept that you are now single and he is as well. When people break up, the best thing that they can do is go out with their friends and try not to spend time alone. I know you miss him, but please don't call him for a little while. We have all been in love as well, and we have been hurt. Just try to spend time with your family, your girlfriends and other people you know. Try to stay busy and it will help you heal and get on with your life. Sometimes things aren't meant to be. Let him go, let him go and try to be happy with your new life, things will heal in time.
I know it dosen't help, these words of mine.. My boyfriend left as well.. after 18years... yes he loved me, but sometimes things don't work.. My boyfriend tried to keep busy and look happy, but I know he's hurting, just as much as I am. But you must move on.. Concentrate on getting a job, go and find something to study, learn to cook, try a language, go to dancing classes.. anything, do anything you can, just so you have a reason to get up in the mornings, and a reason to smile when you go to bed. Sorry.. but that's the way it has to be.
Don't phone him again, because this will tell him, you need him more than he needs you. Kelly has offered you friendship. Contact her or any of the other aunts. Or update your post everyday and tell us how your feeling. This is what I did. I talked to the people here at Dear Cupid and they helped me heal my heart and move on. They can help you as well. It's not the end babes, you are young, this is the beginning of your life, and the new future that you will build.
A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (22 February 2009):
 Hey, I'll talk it through with you. I know how hard it is breaking up with someone. I also wouldn't go out and do things on my own so I know how hard it is to keep busy and keep your mind off things. Msg me and let me know why you broke up. X
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A
female
reader, loving arms +, writes (22 February 2009):
ok babe, break ups are hard and i understand you r pain as i am experiencing my first broken heart at the age of 41! After 8 long weeks of crying and walking around upset i now feel more in control. Not over my partner, but not an emotional wreck.
The first thing i will say to yoy is to stop phoning him, if he knows he can walk back into your life anytime he chooses then he'll choose to be free until he's ready. Just sit back and wait. Do not come across as needy.
You may not have friends around you but tomorrows Monday, if you want a job get out there and start looking tomorrow. You'll be busy and outside. Hopefully you'll get a job and you life will begin to change for the better.
You have made him your everything, you need something outside your home and him even if he does come back.
I hope everything works out well for you babe, good luck xx
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