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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I feel so pathetic asking for help but this is my last resort. I think what happened last night was the straw that broke the camels back, so to speak.I'm going to try and cut this very long story short. I met up with a guy who i hadn't seen for a long time. We never really spoke at school but got back in touch over Facebook and started chatting on there.A few months later we met up and it was nice. At the end of the night i went home and so did he. He text me as i was walking home saying i was welcome to come back to his for some company. I turned him down as we'd only just met really. I guess that should have been a huge RED FLAG but i liked him that much that i didn't see it at the time.A few weeks later we met up again and this time ended up sleeping together. It was great and in the morning as i left he text me saying what a great time he'd had etc... A week after that he moved to another town for work so now we were a good few hours apart. When he was in town we'd meet up and usually end up sleeping together. We'd text and talk online and i stupidly ended up falling for him.A few months later he started becoming very distant, at first i thought he was just busy so i let it go. Then he ignored me completely for a few weeks so i called him and asked if i'd done something wrong. Turns out he'd gotten a new girlfriend and had been with her a few weeks. I asked him why he hadn't bothered to tell me and he said he wanted to tell me in person. I was devastated.He asked if we could remain friends and in the end i gave in and agreed to it.That was a year ago and we still talk online. A few months ago we ended up sleeping together again. It was wrong but it happened. He basically said that he wanted to sleep with me again a few days ago when we were online. I just laughed it off because i didn't know what to say. Tonight i text him saying that me coming to visit him wouldn't be a good idea and i couldn't make that same mistake again. I told him i wanted him but at the same time i knew it was wrong. Since i sent him that message i have had no response. I don't know if it's because he's angry, disappointed, bruised ego.I'm just tired of thinking about him. I'm tired of feeling like i can't say no to him and tell him to get lost. I want to forget him but at the same time it feels impossible.How do i let go and move on?
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male
reader, Moonknight  +, writes (22 February 2011):
 It's not pathetic asking for help, asking for help is saying that you don't want to make stupid mistakes and simply want to know how to avoid it.
Your feeling used and i understand that, you thought there was something to it when there wasn't, you were right about him from the start, you saw a red flag, but wanted to know... there is nothing wrong with that.
It starts to get wrong when this guy tells you that he wanted to tell you in person then you sleep with him after that? this is called keeping your options open, from his point of view.
His lame excuse for not telling you is that he wanted to tell you in person? so basically time went on while he had someone else and was basically stringing you along till he had time to fit you into his schedule...
You got used hard. The reason why he's not responded is because he's using time to come up with something better to say. It's very simple, if he says nothing at all then contact you back a couple days later, you will completely ignore the fact that he didn't reply to what you, purely out of thinking it's a small issue and not worth bringing up, and that in return means he's crossed that bridge.
You can always play with this theory by texting him something like wanting to meet up for sex and watch his reply.
Maybe you wont like what i've said so far but i think it needs to be said. You need to turn the tables around, and stop being the one on strings and keep him hanging instead, clearly you don't need to be in a shitty relationship like this, where your only value is a hook every now and then again.
Put your attention else where with men and it'll help you move on. Remember the attraction that he offers is available else where.
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