A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I feel like I am being bored in my relationship. We have been going out for almost 6 months, and I'm starting to slowly not like her anymore. I used to love her so much, then I went on vacation for 5 days and now I dont like her as much. I dont know what happened, but for some reason, my feelings for her went away. But if I ever think about breaking up with her, I start getting all emotional and almost cry because I cant be without her. So I dont know what I am feeling right now. I want to know how to like her again like I did before I went on vacation. I miss that and I dont want the relationship to end, I really dont. Shes my first girlfriend and I still like her, just not as much and I want to do something that will make me like her again and I would like some help if someone can throw any ideas out at me. Thank you. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2013): I don't think the first two aunts may have noticed your age-group, between 18-21. I often mention in my responses to young people around your age, your feelings are common. Very common, in fact. In love today, not so in love when a prettier girl; or more sexy boy comes along.
New young love is experimental, and there is a lot of romanticizing and fantasy involved. You are strongly driven by your hormones; so your relationships run short, but intense.
You are discovering your sexuality, and can't really distinguish lust from love. The same endorphins are released, but the emotional attachment will vary.
The truth is, at your age most relationships are trial-relationships, designed to end shortly after they begin.
There are some relationships that begin in grade school, and the couple marry later on in life. That doesn't often happen. You should date a lot, and do it for fun. That way, you are introduced to different personalities, and learn what personality-types are more compatible with your own.
You also learn more about women, and they will shape you into a better man. Experience with women teaches you about tenderness and affection. Each will prepare you in some way, for the one that is meant for you.
Through trial and error, love and rejection, we learn how to sustain a successful; and lasting relationship. It starts from where you are now.
You also need time to mature physically and psychologically; and learn more about yourself, before you become too intensely committed to a serious relationship.
You need to have fun and sow your wild oats. Form healthy friendships, and get an education to shape your mind.
Too many young people become entwined in serious relationships and don't have the psychological maturity it takes to handle monogamy, and deep emotional attachment.
Your hormones rule, and you may not feel the same two weeks from now, as you feel today.
Your young mind may not be able to handle the insecurities that must be refined by age and proper psychological development. Our bodies mature faster than our brains.
Nature designed your youthful relationships to quickly end, to avoid adolescent pregnancies that lead to children raising children. So you still have a playful nature; even though girls don't seem to find that male attribute particularly cute.
Not all heed this natural order of things, and make foolish mistakes. They're not ready for the responsibility of supporting a family; before they're out of junior high. Young men mature slower than females psychologically; but will sow their seed indiscriminately just for ya-ayahs.
They are less likely to take being a couple as seriously as girls do. Thus, you are likely to be drawn to a prettier girl, and forget how much in love you were only three months ago.
Unfortunately boys physically grow to men; yet even after maturing to their forties, some dudes don't change in this respect. There are a lot of theories about this, and women came up with most of them.
I will not excuse your childish irresponsibility with that girl's heart.
Do not hurt her with your confusion and boyish nonsense.
You don't admit it; but it's because you met another girl.
You don't fool me. Either that, or you had a fling with another girl. She'll figure you out. That will be her first suspicion, even if it isn't true.
You have to be kind to girls. You have to grow up from when you were just 14, and it didn't matter if you were her boyfriend for a couple of weeks. You have to be responsible and considerate of her feelings. You have to be man enough to know your own. You are old enough to know better.
If you break a heart, be careful. What goes around, comes around. Some girl is going to break your heart big time,
player.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2013): When going through relationships, this is kinda of normal. I've experienced the same thing after going out of town alone and then coming back home. My suggestion is to do more things for yourself, and make up fun things to do with her. When relationships get "comfy" people start putting effort into things and they get relaxed and then... boring. When you go on vacation things are new for you and you have a sense of independence and freedom again...so coming home to routines seems boring. Just make sure that you keep time for yourself which is ALWAYS key in making a relationship work too. And make a special date and go do something fun. LivingSocial.com has sailing deals, or yacht tours...go parasailing... just go do something out of the norm, find something new to talk about and I'm sure things will turn around. It sounds like you still care a lot for her and are just going through a funk.
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