A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok this might turn out a bit long beause i have two things i want to ask.Ok first one:I need to get over this lad and just acept him as a friend. The thing is its to hard because i really love him and although he has said to my mate he doesn't have feelings for me i still think there is something more behind it and something isn't quite right. This is because for months now he's showed extremely strong signs of liking me and he always used to stare at me, if i picked on him when playing ards he'd pick on me bak whih he didn't always do with other, and the signs just went on and on.Also some people in the class sorta hinted he liked me with stuff they said. Now if he didn't have feelings for me the only thing i can think of is that they guessed i liked him and were doing it just outta spite to make me think he liked me. But if they kenw then he would of known and surely he would have stopped right? But anyway a mate of mine juts asked him in general what he thought of me and he willing said the thing is i don't have feelings for her(even though he never asked that) so he muts of had some idea or something? Then when my mate told him that i liked him he said to be homest im choosing to stay single so won't go out with her, but you won't tell her that will ya m8y?So you can see why i think theres more behind it because all this wouldn't have happened for no reason+he does still stare at me sometimes just not as much. But i am struggling to just be is friend because its to hard, but tis to hard to explain, espeically since he's all i think about!! Thankfully though he didn't tell anyone and hes no different with me cuz my mate said she doesn't want you to treat her differently or hate her or anything because of this! So just please help me, i know it doesn't help that i'm still holding onto the fact that maybe he does have feelings for me and its just cuz he wants to stay single but i honestly think it could be that, but would he ever chnage his mind? Please help i can't seem to get over it, how can i just be his friend?problem number 2Its about the same lad. Basically i always thought he either had feelings for me or that he really didnt like me, not even as a friend. One reason was because he would speak to anyone. Like there would be me him and someone else sitting in a row and would be working on omputers and he would just see something funny nd say to them and they'd start laughing. Also he could just start random conversations abotu anything with them, EXCEPT ME!! I just don't get it, yeah i'm kinda quiet anyway which i don't suppose helps because a mate of mine has said thats probably a reason why he won't talk to me, also because im not random enough, which im not around others, i admit i do worry to much about what other people think and i do. But also he don't really help because when i try to talk to him its like talking to a brick wall, he hardly talks back or anything. So really none of us are helping each other. Like if we're sitting in class and we're quiet what can i say to him and how do i start a conversation with him and show him i do have a sense of humor its juts that im a bit quiet. And please don't say it will happen naturally because i've tried that and it doesn't. Thing is he can just talk to others but not me and i really wanna start talking to him more and become better friends. mt mate says hes noticed he doesn't seem talk a lot in general which in a way he doesn't but in other ways he does. But i really need help because others can just say stuff and he'll start talking or he'll start laughing or soemthing but not with me!! I dont get it sometimes i think if i make him more comfortable around me them he might talk to me more. One reason i do worry to much about what they think of me is because the clas in general do pick on me a lot and like the other day some went to the park and once id gone for a meeting with someone the others didn't wait they juts got up and left me and wouldn't answe my text, because they didn't wnat me there. This lad had already gone though before and he doesn't pick on me as much, only sometimes he laughs along if he finds it funny and stuff. So please help me talk to him more, i can't really ask him what hes into or anything because i know, ive know him about 10 months so it isnt like we've just met or anything, i know it wont happen on it own because i've tried that and it makes things worse. I really need help with both of these, please can ou try and help.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (15 June 2008):
If you keep playing with your own head then you are going to end up driving yourself mad. Maybe he likes you maybe he doesn't. It doesn't matter, he doesn't want to be with you right now so you need to stop torturing yourself with What If questions.
I would get some space from this guy and really try and get over him.
Keep out of his way, and distract yourself as much as possible so you don't have time to think about him.
Good Luck!! xx
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