A
female
age
36-40,
*JACx
writes:Hi guys - I have been reading a few articles on the net and thought I'd write in to get some advice.I have been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years and love him so much. We have so many memories and are best friends. That said this year has been awful. We can't afford our own place so back in Feb 10 he moved in with me at my parents house. Things were good but in August he turned a bit distant and asked for space. This threw me off track completly and I went into meltdown. I couldn't understand where it had all come from and my paranoia and trust issues went sky high. In September we had a huge row and he told me he didn't know if he wanted to be with me anymore. I decided to give him his space and he could not stop texting me. We went away for a weekend and things were amazing. I later on found out that during his stages of doubt, he kissed his ex girlfriend who he has a child with. She has often texted him with suggestive comments which annoys and frustrates me. Although he agreed this was not appropriate she has been difficult with access in the past so didn't want to rock the boat and upset her. This kiss has destroyed me completly. He begged for my forgiveness and said that his head was messed up at the time and that he released what he was losing when he had his space from me! I took him back. Stupid I know but I love him so much and want to make this work. I can't imagine being with anyone else now and want to marry him. Things have been amazing ever since and if anything we are so much stronger. I try to do what I can to make him happy but sometimes feel that I'm trying to hard when I know he doesn't deserve it. I know that this is completly wrong after he was so dishonest.Three months down the line, I still can't help but get paranoid and anxious when he is not around. He still has to see his ex because of his child and this kills me. He finds it hard to open up to me and hates talking abot his feelings but I know he loves me and he says that he is happy now. When he has a few drinks he opens up and last Friday he told me he eventually wants marriage (although he thinks we are too young at the moment). When I do manage to leave him too it if I'm out and busy with other things he often contacts me so I know that giving him some more space is the right way too go but I need to get out of this mind set that he is going to mess me about again. I want to be able to relax and get on with it. Go witht he flow and let things happen naturally. Please give me some advice and suggestions? I would love to hear from ayone els ein the same situation.Thanks guys x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): He will cheat no matter how paranoid you are so relax!
The more you accuse someone of cheating the more likely they are to cheat.
Forgive him. If he starts accusing you of cheating then you'll know he'll back up to no good.
Besides guys will kiss their ex out of convience and hornyness, not love.It happens. So Forgive him completely or leave him completely!
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