A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend (Since October) is becoming increasingly controlling and passive agressive. I am scared of things getting wrose and as i have already started to have anxiety attacks I think it's best to end it. Problem, I don;t think i have the strength, I'm often on my own and quite lonly so i'm kinda worried that i will be depressed here with nobody. I'm not sure which is wrose at the moment. Three days ago when he rang I turned the phone off and sent a txt saying you woke me up, i'm ill leave me be. Yesterday we had an exam and i txted to see how he'd done in it and he didn't answer (We usually txt a few times a day, see each other 4 or 5 times a week and talk on the phone), I was releived, i thougth the silent treatment might mean i was free. I was happy but nervous as to what was coming next. Today he finally txted, he said "Feeling better now?" I was getting ready to dump him, but now that he's talked to me I immediatly feel weak, like the ball is out of my court and everything is out of my control. I guess he's totally wrapped me around his fingers with guilt trips and and sexual abuse. I just want out but i don't know how. I've phoned the domestic abuse hotline, i've been to a councillor but i'm so used to pleasing him, and giving in when he acts upset that i feel i can't hurt his feelings in anyway. My parents are picking me up to spend the summer with them in a week but i'm afraid of this next week.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (23 May 2010):
 Most women would feel powerless or mentally paralyzed like you and would be unable to leave.
You need to stop feeling sympathetic for him and harden your heart and let him find his own sources of survival and support.
Just walk away and don't look back.
Your strongest reason for leaving is for your own happiness and peace of mind.If you stay , it will only gets worse.
A
female
reader, chaarzx +, writes (22 May 2010):
well, in my opinion i think you should pluck all your courage up and end it with him, he is taking you down this guilt trip because he knows he can get what he wants! he knows he can walk all over you, if you dont do this soon, he knows if he says "jump" your sure to say "how high?"
well i hope this helped
chaarzx
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A
female
reader, candigurl26  +, writes (22 May 2010):
speaking from experience it does get worse i went through this for 6 years my advice to you would be to get out of it as quick as you can yes it does hurt and you will be sad surround yourself with friends and family until you get through this. it took me a while but finally i realized what i did was for the best and eventually life went on as normal and i even fell in love again and have been happily married for 3 years to a wonderful man. i know you can do it find that inner strength we women all have. good luck. and stay safe.
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A
female
reader, Lakisha +, writes (22 May 2010):
 Get rid of him before he gets rid of u!!! Good Luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2010): You know what they say, absence makes the heart go fonder. Maybe this is exactly what you two need a little time apart. Try to ignore him for a bit, just so that you can have some time with yourself. Although don't go out with him just because you feel sorry for him, you deserve so much more happiness then that :)
NightFairy
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