I need someone to tell me that two people can love each other and it last forever.

Tagged as: Long distance, Love stories, Teenage, Trust issues

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Question - (20 June 2010)

5 Answers - (Newest, 21 June 2010)

A male age 30-35, *azzedUp writes:

I'm 17 years old. An orphan, dumped into the arms of grandparents when I was 12 after my mother died. My sister lives in London as a pediatrician, so I rarely see her. I've learned the way of life on my own, and now I've fallen in love. I met my girlfriend by mistake in October of last year. At the time, I was heartbroken because my girlfriend of the time had dumped me. I was at the mall walking around in JC Penny's curtain department, when I heard a girl crying. It was the girl I would go on to fall in love with and I'm dating her now. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she was heartbroken. So I asked her if I could sit and cry with her. So we cried together over broken hearts, then spent the rest of the night together.

It took about two weeks for her to fall for me, I wish I could say I fell just as quick but I didn't recognize her feelings for me until two months ago. So from October until now, I've been in and out of relationships I thought were right, and this girl was always there to help me, secretly in love with me the entire time. Then, one night, after she had signed off IM after a conversation, I caught myself telling her I loved her. Two weeks later, I told her how much I cared and that brings us here.

I would like to tell you that we live in the same city, and go to the same school, and go out on dates every weekend. But that's not true. We live four hours and sixteen minutes apart. But that hasn't stopped the growth of her love and mine is growing almost as fast. When I was younger I criticized the guys who dated girls more than two years younger than them, but now I've found myself dating a girl 3 years younger than me. I could care less. Our families approve, and we talk over videochats on skype each night. I adore everything about her and want to be with her as long as possible. She is completely in love with me and always makes sure I know it.

Now, that my relationship's history is finished (thanks for reading all of this), I'll get to my problem. She's completely given in to love and wants to be with me for the rest of her life. I want to feel the same but I've hit a roadblock. I've been hurt so many times that I feel almost as if I'm making myself vulnerable again. I love her, I won't deny it, but after so much heartbreak, I had convinced myself that true love only exists in fairy tales and chick flicks. I want to be with her forever, but I need someone to tell me that two people can love each other and it last forever. I need to know that I'm not crazy, I need to know that what I'm doing is okay. I need to feel like everything will be alright. I want to fall in love with her, but I can't until I know that two people can love each other and it last. God will not tell me anything. Tell me someone, please...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010):

I must start by saying that you sound like a very emotionally strong young man. You may not realize it but you have already gone through a great deal of pain in your life and survived. Heartache and pain is unfortunately part of life. Strength comes from growing out of this pain and not avoiding it.

You are still very young and trying to avoid getting hurt is going to be impossible. You may or may not end up with this girl in the long run, but for now why worry about it just enjoy the moment you're living in. I know it's hard to open up to people after you've been hurt many times but that's just the way life goes. It's better to open up and get hurt than to build a wall and never try. At least you know if you do get hurt you will survive.

To answer your question, yes two people can meet and fall in love and be together forever. However that takes a LOT of work and there will still be a lot of pain they will experience. I used to volunteer in a nursing home and often talked to the residents about love. Many of them were married over 65 years, but they would tell you right away that not all of those years were happy and that they fought and got mad at each other often, but they loved the person and WORKED on keeping their relationship together. Nowadays people are looking for any reason to end a relationship or a marriage and people give up too easily sometimes.

So yes it can work, but why worry about that now, you're still young and met a great girl who you have a really sweet connection with. Don't obsess over the future and the things that could happen, just enjoy it. Open up and talk to her, girls love emotion and feeling connected to a guy.