A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was wondering if anyone could recommend good sex toys for couples to use. I use to have a vibrator, which I liked, but have not had one in a long time. My current partner (who I have been with for several years) feels that I should not need a vibrator...that it means he is inadequate (which he is not). I have explained to him that it is nothing against him it is just something different and it could be fun because he could use it on me. He still seems uninterested. I am looking for suggestions on what to get that he might like to try together.
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (6 January 2010):
 What ever you get, if your guy is not in to bedroom toys you are going to have to take things very slow to avoid running in to issues exceeding his comfort level.
Here is some idea's to get around a guy who has vibrator envy/issues.
Make sure it comes across as something that is to pleasure both of you, not as a second dick, and use it that way by touching it on area's of him too.
Some men can get turned off if it resembles any physical features of a penis. Just looks a little too much like a replacement for their manhood to sit well with some. Besides some guys wont want something that looks like another dick touching them either.
Make sure it is smaller than he is. Yep, my man has actually compared himself to a peice of plastic lol. Sad init?
I probably would not recommend (initially anyway) ripping out a thrusting , rotating, jack rabbit with clitty ticklers or something, coz even tho most women would probably agree that we'd prefer a real man over toys anyday, a guy not in to toys is probably still gunna look at it and know his own equipment just cant do that many things at once which may lead to feelings of inadequecy/ performance anxiety, etc
If you're ok with anal play/intercourse, you could also allow him to feel the vibration by having anal sex whilst having a vibrator in your vagina - or vice versa, but make sure you have an appropriately safe toy if putting anything in your butt so it does not end up right inside you causing a retrieval problem. Am sure you would rather not end up in the emergency room at hospital explaining how you got something stuck up your arse.
Hell, maybe even buy a specifically male orientated toy that you could use on him.
Bullets are usually around the size of a finger which removes the whole replacement penis issue, whilst still providing vibration. Might be a good starting point for you both as it can be used during intercourse so he won;t feel you are getting all your pleasure from something other than him.
There is also a new thing called a 'we-vibe' designed for couples. To be honest, it looks a little too much like some space age contraption for me to have any interest in it, but apparently it sells realy well, and from what i can tell from a pic of it, it is kinda a "U" shape that I imagine has one arm on the clitoral area, the other inside the vagina, whilst leaving room for a penis. Both partners get direct contact at the same time.
An item he might find fun is a remote control vibrating egg. You could insert the egg and slip him the remote control whilst your out and about and watch him get off knowing he can tease you by controlling it's intensity/ your pleasure from the other side of a crowded room. Great set up for some hot, rip ya gear off in the doorway when ya get home type sex lol
If your gunna get in to some kinky toys, light bondage, etc, then that is an area I feel needs to be openly discussed and limits agreed to prior to any action happening and even then I'd suggest starting slow and not too far out of the box.
A
female
reader, supermum  +, writes (5 January 2010):
 Of course, if you are feelink kinky, blinfolds, gentle whips and handcuffs also make for some FAB fun :)
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (5 January 2010):
Use a bullet, it vibrates, but is not a 'cock replacement'...you can massage his balls with it, ir hold it on your clit (or in your ass) so he gets the vibrations to. My man LOVES it!
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