A
male
age
36-40,
*myourangel
writes:Hi everybody, my name is John, I'm gay and I think I have a problem, I am very emotional and sensitive, this is bringing me a lot of problems now, right at this moment my life is so messed up, first my boyfriend broke up with me, second my family knows im gay and they dont support me anymore and I feel alone and devastated, I'm a very loving guy, full of love and good intentions but I always end up hurt and feeling like sh*t, I need my family so much now but theyre all act indifferent to my problems, I just talk to my mom literally 20 words per day or even less, my relationship with her was very good, since i told her the truth, i just dont think is fair, she doesnt understand ive been hiding myself for so many years my God, so much things ive gone thru, but instead of growing stronger i feel more vulnerable now, those little things that happen to me affect my life in so many ways, i get attached to ppl so easily thats another one, I really don't know why I am that way, is it bad? is it ok? what should i do? i hate this feeling, i feel alone and so lost, plus my own economy is not really helping and im brokenhearted, i need some advice from you to lift my spirit, please HELP! I'll be forever grateful.
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male
reader, imyourangel +, writes (7 September 2009):
imyourangel is verified as being by the original poster of the question THANK YOU so much for guys for taking your time to give me your advice!3!GOD Bless!!!
A
male
reader, lowrider +, writes (2 September 2009):
Strange thing--Families, they are-- If you were a Meth Dealer they could handle that. Why everyone is so hung on sexuality is beyond me, parents want their kids to be carbon copies or live in a box of types. If you have had an intelligent, non-emotional discussion about it then I would say however hard, its time to move on, they won't change. Just as you have your beliefs , they have theirs. If they can't accept for you, its THEIR problem. Your validation as a human being shouldn't be diminished because of the way someone else, be it family or not, feels about your lifestyle. There are many problems that will be faced alone and not just about sexuality. Your young, welcome to life. You do have the answers, you will come out of this. It is you and only you who has the key to solve this. Yeah the economy does suck--I'm jobless 3 years now, selling off my assets, but none of this is going to last forever. I still get scared, I'm uncertain about my future, but I know if I let it all cascade down upon me I will be in worse shape. You do have the strength your just not aware of it. Also One good friend--no not a boyfriend or lover-- but a friend without emotional attachment to you can help you see things that are possible, the rest afterwards will fall into place.
Things change it really never goes the we plan, accept that and work within to make you space comfortable for you. Its aall about challenges my friend, Gay or Straight we all face them. Find out who you are, your goals and work towards them--yes things will change as you go along-- but be surefooted and you emerge fine.
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A
male
reader, Mikes  +, writes (2 September 2009):
 It is true, this is a very common problem. I was one of the lucky ones you could say. My entire family and all my freinds never had a problem, infact, sinve i came out years ago they like me more! this is because i can now be myself, talk openly about boyfreinds, and my mum wouldnt have it any other way, because now she can be part of my life. Shes even turned into some sort of gay right promoter, having a go at anyone she hears being homophobic.
I think its apaling that your mum cannot accept you as you are, she gave birth to you and raised you, she cant turn her back now, and i dont think she really has. Because of things such as religion, upbringing etc people have different attitudes. It might just have come as a shock and your mum might just need more time to process this new info and new you.
Just keep it up, and once she knows its not a 'phase' im sure she will be more accepting. If not, there are gay support groups for help and advice, which really will help.
Take care
Mike
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (2 September 2009):
 Hi,
Gay people always face the risk of being shunned by their family when they come out. I never understand why, you are still the same person, but people unfortunatly are so narrow minded they feel the need to judge others so quickly. And I really hope your family arent really religious as it will be hard to get them to drop their narrow world view and accept who you are .
There is nothing you can do about your family, accept to hold your head high and tell them you are merely being honest and it is they who have changed not you.
As for support, you will have many clubs and societies in your area ( I hope ) where gay people congregate and support each other. Alienation is the most common drama a gay person goes through when they come out, be proactive and seek out others like you , I'm sure there are plenty of people who are more than willing to offer a sympathetic ear and a kind word.
Stay strong dude.
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