A
female
age
36-40,
*abulousone
writes:So I've had this conversation with my boyfriend--about how I want more demonstrations of love (just simple things--ie; a note on facebook about me, a personal poem, something simple like that..) and how it's grating my nerves to have to ask for that when it ought to be an automatic kind of thing that a boyfriend should be compelled to do for his girlfriend. I am always open and honest with him and he is with me and so I have asked him if he really doesn't feel compelled to do this kind of thing--and we talk and of course he wants to.That aside, I've been asking for this--and it's taking him 3 weeks to write a small note about me on facebook(he still hasn't).Honestly, I am very upset over this because it shouldn't be my job to remind him to do good things for me.We've been together for 3.5 years. We are living together. Our relationship is great--except for this one aspect. Because it is starting to feel like I am having to threaten to leave him to get him to do these things for me. And I cannot keep getting my little heart broken over a very long relationship if he's going to be like this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): I am sorry but you sound like a spoiled brat the way you write this here.
I think he is not required to write a comment on facebook about you to show his love. What you want him to do is to prove his love to all the acquintances on your page to make yourself feel special and loved. Not required, sorry.
If I was your guy I would be feeling annoyed and not trusted or respected and I wouldn't threaten to leave you, I would probably just do it.
Some guys are not all hearts and flowers all of the time, in fact most aren't. His actions speak louder than any words or notes. What other nice things is he doing for you to keep you around for 3.5 years? Be grateful that he has put up with such a spoiled, immature, insecure girlfriend who is a bottomless pit and needs to be filled up constantly with her demands for displays of affection.
What else is going on in your relationship? Are you wanting to get married and he hasn't asked you yet? Feel you are wasting your time here? Get real with yourself first, this isn't about notes he isn't writing, it is about something else.....get honest with yourself and then with him and spill it, don't demand, nag and threaten, it won't work.
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