A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So here's the thing,i've broke up with my ex for 2 months and a little, and just a 2 weeks back, he finally agreed to get back with me because he still loves me. We went out and watched a movie, we held hands during the movie, but when i wanted to kiss him, he wouldn't allow me to do so. He knew i wasn't quite happy, and he got fustrated at me and told me to watch the movie... when i went home, i asked him 'why didn't you allow me to kiss you', he said he doesn't know. I made him a scrapbook for his birthday and he said it was nice and he has said he really loves me. However, he went to on vacation and we have different time zones now, he doesn't bring his phone out as he says his mum will confiscate it if he uses it too much. And he says i never change and i'm always sad... I don't know, it seems like he's trying to control me now... He hasn't been spenidng a lot of time with me as he's addicted to gaming now.. after we've broken up, he has been gaming.. and he said i've changed him... i want the old him back, it seems different. Do both of us need more time? he says i can't chnage in a day, it takes weeks and months.. I've been crying so hard these few days when he's gone, however, he doesn't seem to really miss me even if he says he does. He won't give me his password for his accounts, we used to give each other our passwords, now he says we need privacy and stuff. and he says that he's not giving me because i always get mad, ( as i'm a very jealous person...) Is it cause it's the start, and i need to give him more time and space? I really want to win his heart back, help me please? I really love him and hope to be with him forever but now, i need to make him love me as much as he did before...
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2013): Hi, I really think that this level of jealousy and emotional dependency on a boy at your age is really worrying; I've always had anxiety, ( I forget how many times I've mentioned this in my recent posts, starting to sound like a broken record lol!) and manifested itself in different ways, and Ive got a couple of very close friends who also have emotional/ mental issues, is similar to you-But you know what I've found? These problems that are always deep seated (unknown to yourself probably) steadily worsen and cause more anguish as you get older if you don't deal with them- when you're feelings are more developed and stronger I guess. And imagine your feelings now worsened by 10? It's so worrying really, only when you're a young adult and you end up in A complete state. one thing... I really advise talking to someone and trying to nip this in the bud as early as possible. As for this guy... Well anyone will tell you he's your average 13-15 year old boy- gaming is what boys do. And I agree completely with wise owl about the whole just not being bothered with the clingy girl thing, It's a VERY mature thing to be able to deal with insecurity, and most MEN aren't that good at it- you should read how many posts on here are about relationships being torn apart by jealousy/ insecurity. He won't be bothered by it really. I feel for you, post an update! Xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2013): You are both young children.
You are way to caught up in trying to have a boyfriend, and don't know how to enjoy being a kid and just having fun.
He is tired of you being clingy and always trying too hard.
You need to get out and enjoy being with your friends and just doing things for fun. You're smothering him and he just needs to get away from you.
You are between 13-15; and boys that age don't get all caught up in that lovey-dovey nonsense. It's good that they don't; because it's too young to be so serious.
At first, it was new and fun. You got all clingy and always
taking up his time. He isn't trying to control you, he wants you to control yourself. You're always all over him and that gets on his nerves. Stop it.
If you just appreciate when you see him and find other things to do with your time, he will be his old-self. You won't give him a chance.
You're being a whiny clingy cry-baby. Boys don't like that.
They like girls who have their own friends, and take time out to do things by themselves. Girls that leave them alone to do the things they like to do. Boys also like to hangout with their mates. You want all of his time.
If you don't change, he is going to leave you again.
Stop being such a drama queen. Then things will change.
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A
female
reader, maria.niz  +, writes (12 July 2013):
Hey there,I really know what you're feeling. I used to have a boyfriend like yours, and he hurt me, a lot. The thing that this kid is doing to you...it's just not right. I want you to remember that if a guy treats you badly, he's not that much into you. He just uses you to boost his ego. And the fact that you say that you love the old version of your bf just shows the whole situation: you have created in your mind a fake imagine of your boyfriend, an image which shows a guy who is caring and who loves you. I know that you and your ex have spent beautiful moments together, but the way he's trating you...it's just not right. I am not saying that sometimes guys and girls get back together, and I am not saying that, if you really love someone, you don't have to fight for your relationship, but in your situation this guy is just taking control over you.I might sound rude, but believe me, I spent three years treated like you by my ex bf. I spent three years watching him having different girlfriends and always coming back to me, and it just hurt me.You're young, you will find someone who will truly deserve you. And maybe your heart will be broken many and many times, but I promise you that all that hurt with be worth it. Your ex, well, he's not worth even a second of your time.Hope you'll listen to me :)
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