A
male
age
30-35,
*eedananswerplzz
writes:Iam 22 and iam madly in love with a girl ever since i completed my schooling, that zeros into almost 8 years. I never even thought of any other girl as my wife or my girfriend, in short i never had a real life apart from this. I used to go wherever my lady love has gone and i felt like i want to be with her 24/7. This was the case rit from the first day we met n even now after 8 years, i dont see any change in me. I always feared proposing her beacuse we used to be best buddies. Atlast i proposed her and by the time it was so late and she was already in love with another guy. later she had a break up with that guy, and had another relation-break up. All through this, i never left her and i beleived that my love for her is true and so i definitely get her.Later on we started becoming bit intimate and we even made love several times. Now she has got a new boyfriend and seems she decided to leave me, probably out of guilt. But iam not ready to lose her from my life. I madly need her to be in my life atleast as a friend but i really want her as a lover. I tried to convey this to her in every possible manner but she is not interested.What to do, please answer me!! Its like hell without her. I need her to be in my life, i want to marry her, raise a family with her, grow old with her. Please suggest me what to do to get my girl back..
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012): Unfortunately if she's not interested, she's not interested. There's nothing anyone can suggest that will make her want the same things from you, as you want from her.
The reason you've felt this way about her for so long is that you developed an infatuation with her, and in the process built up the expectations that one day she will be your ideal girlfriend/wife.
The truth is she doesn't, and possibly never will see you as a potential boyfriend/husband, and its in your best interest to accept that now and move on. Stop torturing yourself and work towards finding someone that feels the same as you do.
I very much doubt you would be able to maintain a solid friendship with her either because your personal feelings will always get in the way, especially when it comes to her having boyfriends.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012): "she has got a new boyfriend and seems she decided to leave me, probably out of guilt."She dumped you for another guy. "But i am not ready to lose her from my life."Unfortunately she was unable to delay dumping you for another guy, so you'll have to improvise. "I madly need her to be in my life atleast as a friend but i really want her as a lover. I tried to convey this to her in every possible manner but she is not interested."What to do, please answer me!! Its like hell without her. I need her to be in my life, i want to marry her, raise a family with her, grow old with her." Unfortunately, your needs and wants are incompatible and irreconcilable with hers. If she doesn't want what you need, then what you want is impossible, leaving you with two options:a) Reassess your life goals and adjust accordingly b) Burn in hell on earth until you die or she changes her mind about not wanting you in her life, whichever comes first. "Please suggest me what to do to get my girl back.."Continue waiting for her to change her mind about not wanting you to be in her life, if she does then wait for her to want you as a friend, if she does then wait for her to need you as a friend, if she does then wait for her to want you as a lover, if she does then she'll tell you she wants to be your lover, and you'll get your girl back.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this  +, writes (18 September 2012):
 Sometimes when we love someone we believe that if we are always there professing our love for them that one day they will see us as the one for them. They will realize that they love us and how great we are and how much we love them. Unfortunately this is exactly the opposite of what really happens. You have always been there over the years for her. You love her and she can have you anytime. She knows this. But that is the problem. The best thing for you to do is leave her alone for a while. Probably a lot longer than you would like. In the meantime, work on bettering yourself. If you are out of shape then get in shape. Change your routine. Even get out and meet other women. I know you don't want to do this but this is probably the only chance you have. You may lose her, thats true. But you don't really have her now at least not the way you really want. Could you honestly live with just being friends with her? Anyway, after a few months of not really communicating with her, then maybe ask her for coffee or something simple like that. If she agrees then make sure to not talk about the old days. Talk about the new things you have been doing. Bringing up too much of the past will remind her of the clingy guy you were. You have to make her fall in love with you, a new you. It's the only way. Personally I would wait at least 3 months to try and rekindle anything with her.
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