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I need her back in my life and know she has feelings for me

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 September 2009) 8 Answers - (Newest, 18 September 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, *lx312 writes:

Hi everyone

I split up with my girlfriend just over 2 months ago and did not cope well with the break up. We had been together 2 years and I had taken a second job in order to save up enough money to take her to Paris and propose (she didn't and still does not know that). In the intervening period I lost control slid into depression and crashed my car andlost my driving licence thanks to alcohol this obviously was a massive mistake that I never meant to happen. I digress she told me after my crash she didn't think we could get back together but that was 6 weeks ago but then two weeks ago her feelings have changed to "i don't know how I feel" and then just last week i find out that she misses me.

I love this girl so much and belive now that i'm not working as much as i did we could get the spark back but i'm not sure how to go about it. Please please please help me with any advice you have obviously she still has feelings of some sought I just want to know the best way of trying to get her back.

Thanks

Alex

View related questions: get back together, money, period, spark, split up

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (18 September 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntI wouldn't tell her anything about that just yet. I wouldn't even bring up the word marriage. Just easy and friendly should be your motto at this point. No pressure.

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A male reader, glevum United Kingdom +, writes (18 September 2009):

Hi Alex,

In my opinion,I hope she never takes you back.You can't even take care of yourself,let alone her.

Hiding,from you depression,behind alcohol, is really dumb.Drinking alcohol then driving is even dumber.It is no wonder that young girls go for older men. You obviously have a lot of maturing to do.

The truth is that together, cute, young girls don't want depressed alcoholics around them.They need maturity and security.

Get over it; I am sure she has.Watch what happens next - her next boyfriend will be much older than you.

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A male reader, alx312 United Kingdom +, writes (18 September 2009):

alx312 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for all your help advice but just one more thing. Do you think it would be advisable to suggest I was only working in order to save up and propose.

Thanks

Alex

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A male reader, alx312 United Kingdom +, writes (16 September 2009):

alx312 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

No he knows not to do that as it doesn't help anybody. I even told her the last time I spoke to her only to say things she means because people don't stay quiet you always find out things but now I know she cares I really want to try and make the best of it.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (16 September 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntI hope your friend didn't tell you that just to make you feel better. I guess at this point all you can do is send her a friendly email every once and a while and see if she responds. I certainly advise you not to come on too strong. Good luck Buddy.

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A male reader, alx312 United Kingdom +, writes (16 September 2009):

alx312 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi

She told a third party who was a very close friend of ours when we together that she misses me and this is somebody who i trust more than my own family. She dumped me because she felt she drifted away because I was working so much but she doesn't know I was only working as I wanted to propose. She hasn't spoken to me since my crash because she felt responsible and didnt want to make me worse. And make no mistake if I had not been on my own I would never have got in that car but when you're emotional and feel like you have nothing left to lose some things make sense.

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A male reader, alx312 United Kingdom +, writes (16 September 2009):

alx312 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

she told somebody i work with somebody who has no reason to lie to me.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (16 September 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntWhen you say you found out she misses you, did she tell you that or did it come from a second party?

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