A
male
age
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*onathon123
writes:"OPs Own Title" I am a man who lived and worked in foreign country for many years. While living there I met and fell in love with a young girl, who said she loved me also.Over the last year, we have traveled and enjoyed each other, I proposed and she said yes... I applied for USA visa and we are now close to getting the visa.Over the last few months she has become very distant --- not answering calls as before, not sending emails as before, not being forthright as before. Yesterday I finally confronted her, and she now says she is very afraid of leaving her country, and that her thinking is killing her feelings.She is no longer sure what the future will bring or what she wants --- she is afraid of leaving her parents, friends, and all she knows behind to come to a country where as she says --- she will be a "nobody".What should I do --- leave her alone? Go to her? Fight for her? I am at a loss for how to respond to help make someone become more comfortable about leaving there country to come live in another --- Please HELP!
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female
reader, maggie777  +, writes (7 June 2010):
Why not ask her over for a visit. It doesn't have to be marriage now. Let her see what life is like in your country and reassure her that in the modern world today distances aren't what they used to be. Don't pressurise her. She obviously stressed and to lean on her would make things worse. Tell her you love her whatever she decides and if you really love each other you'll find a way.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2010): ok listen she might be having second thoughts about it because of the distans between you two but just maybe give her a little space. i dont think its right for her to be so distant but maybe somehting happened to her or maybe her family the list could go on but i do know one thing -once you have completely fallen in love with someone you cant just forget about them it will be A-Okay
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A
male
reader, Hippieman182  +, writes (7 June 2010):
 If i was you i'd ask her what she wants and what she can see happening with you both.
Depending on what she says i think you can tell if she wants to try to make things work or not
best of luck
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