A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I am confused on a lot of things. I am 14 years old. I am attracted to girls by their looks and beauty but same with boys. The past few years I have always gotten off to gay/bi porn and enjoyed it but never thought about being in a serious relationship with a guy. I have had a few serious girlfriends, I never did more than make out, feel them up and did enjoy it but didn't get a boner. I only get boners when I see male kind of stuff. But lately it's like I don't want to be into that stuff and I want to have a girlfriend and have sex, etc. But how can I do things with girls if I dont get a boner? I don't think I'm gay , I thought I was bi last year but am not sure now. Kind of confused. There is one girl I like in particular and if we entered a relationship.. which I really want but the things holding me back are sexually fantasizing about other boys so what should I do in this situation?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008): It's quite normal to have mixed feelings at your age. It sounds like you are scared that you might be gay and if that is the case, I don't think you are improving your chances of coming out of being a teenager as a straight guy by watching gay porn. Sexually fantasising about boys is also an indicator that you are gay. If you are gay you are gay, but your age is not a time to make up your mind.
Perhaps you should make a move on that girl and see where it leads - perhaps a relationship with her may change your mind.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008): One of the problems is the images you have in your mind from looking at bi-porn. I think you were intrigued by comparing the way your body looks and responds in a sexual way. It's o.k. to appreciate your own 'maleness', but you got yourself a little confused when you stimulated your mind that way.
You show a natural attraction to girls, but as the other poster says, you're putting Alot or pressure on yourself to Undo or prove your not gay. Let me say you are very straight. You just need to give yourself time to clear your mind, and 'get to know' the girls you're interested in. Your body will respond to them, but you're young and have LOTS of time. Even if you waited until your 18 to have sex, that's about 60 years to experience it :) p.s. girls like guys that takes things slow too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008): Relax, you are a teenager. It is normal to feel confused at times. I don't think you should get to worried about sex at this stage. Enjoy your life and with time you will discover your sexuality. Be patient and don't rush into anything. Allow things to happen naturally.The more you stress and put pressure on yourself, the more difficult to have an erection. Just go with the flow and be patient. Your body will respond when it is ready.
Good luck.
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