A
female
age
30-35,
*lovejello
writes:I have depression and been going out with my boyfriend for 4 months now and he acts like to two different people when we first started going out all my friends stopped talking to me because my boyfriend was black and when we hang out with his friends he acts like I'm not there and it makes me sad and when I'm sad he never wants to get close to me witch that makes me feel that something is wrong with me and that makes me think that I'm too fat or I'm ugly and when I'm thinking about that I stop eating but when we are alone together it's all fine and 1 day ago I told him how I feel by a text message becuse I start to cry when I think about this stuff or when I try to say it but after I told him he never replyed back and when I try to call him he doesn't answer and I don't know what to do
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 December 2012):
 Are you being treated for your depression?
How old is he? How old are you?
Do your parents know about your boyfriend?
Why do you think you are going out him when the circumstances surrounding the whole relationship seem to suggest it's not very healthy for you?
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (20 December 2012):
You've been with him for only 4 months and you feel like crap. It may not be his fault, but the bottom line is that there is no point in staying with someone when that's how you feel with them.
Seriously, if you had said this was your husband of 4 YEARS or something then the advice would be different.
It sounds to me like you need to get some treatment for your depression because you are possibly driving him away.
Good luck and remember that you are very young: everything you like about him you can find in someone that is better suited to you. There are 3,000,000,000 men out there, don't trip over 1.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2012): Honey, you are young and probably suffering from PMS. You need to learn not to depend on people also you need to give up this boyfriend that wants to be around only when things are good. I suspect you are a trophy and he wants to show his friends that he is dating a woman from another race.
You deserve love and attention, dont settle for someone that wants all the good things and never around when things get tough. Move on and you will find someone that is more suitable. No one is ugly, we all have different beauty and it takes the right person to see and apprecaite it.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2012): If you don't want to read all my advice, just scroll down to the short version haha...
First things first, if your friends don't want to talk to you anymore because of your boyfriend's race, then they were never your friends to begin with, nor are they the type of people you want to be around. Additionally, do you know for a fact they stopped talking to you because your boyfriend is black? Or is that just something you assumed? If it's just something you assumed, you need to talk to your friends first to get your story straight on why they aren't talking to you because perhaps they are just giving you space.
With that out of the way, here's my answer for you:
Based on the age you provided, you seem well old enough to already know this; but, never tell your boyfriend (or anyone for that matter) how you're feeling via a text message. It's best to do it face-to-face. Text messaging your feelings just builds up way too much anxiety wondering what the person is thinking and why they aren't replying.
What I said above is exactly what you need to go do. I don't know whether he goes to the same school as you or not, but if he does, go up to him and talk to him about your issue. If not, go to his house. He's either not replying back, or picking up the phone, because he has absolutely no idea how to reply to what you told him, or he knows what to say but thinks his words will make the situation worse. Plus, depending on how you phrased your text message, he either understands you or he's frustrated by what you said. Regardless, you need to talk to him in person, especially when this mostly has to do about race.
Oh and there's no need to be paranoid that you're too ugly or too fat :) I'm sure you're beautiful, and I'm sure he knows that too. The only reason this will end badly is because of the race issue, which isn't your fault. I'm only being a realist at this point, if your situation turns bad, just know it wasn't your fault!
Short Version: Talk to him face to face! :)
...............................
|
