A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So Ia am a 28 year old guy, and I think I am falling for a 16 year old girl. It started out as her flirting with me about three months ago, and I thought it is just a phase she is going through and just shrugged it off. But as time has passed the flirting has gotten more noticeable to me and been more forthcoming. As in she keeps bringing up things we have in common and even saying we should go hang out sometime. I have found myself feeling more for her each day and don't know how to stop the feelings from forming. I realise this is not normal, but also feel a connection with her on some level. She is an attractive girl, but she is just that a girl. I still think it is just a phase, but what if she really does want something more. I don't know how to react to the feelings that are forming, but know I can't let anyone know about them. I will not act because I feel that she is way to young for me, but need help getting over this. I work in a place that see comes to on a regular basis, and she just hangs out sometimes when no one is around. This is not a place that she has to go and there are other places that do the same thing as us. She always stays around when no one else is around, and doesn't when others are in the room. This makes me uncomfortable and worried she may do something. I feel like I would be man enough to stop anything from happening, but what if I can't. I am falling for her and need help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would like to thank those of you who have helped me thus far. In the last couple of weeks I have been trying to help her see that I am to old for her, and not right for her. Without being mean about it, as I do not want to hurt her in any way. She has backed of a little bit, but just two days ago she made a point to tell me why she had not been to see me the day before. She was with her dad on this day so that is all she said. As I said before she does come by my place of work on a regular basis, and this will not stop partly because we are a hang for some of her friends. Also because the place I work is the closest of our kind to where she lives and goes to school. Although she does come by on her own, when none of her friends or her dad is with her. I think her crush has started to die down, but I'm not sure.
Also some of you think I would let something sexual happen between us. I know that I would never do that with someone that young. She is a very cute girl, and would fit my type if she were older. But I believe you must truly be in love to even talk about making that step. What I meant was she would start talking about her feelings toward me and I would have to tell her the truth about what I think about her. I still think I have feelings for her, and would wait for ever if I knew she was the one. I don't know what the future holds, but there is very little chance she is in my life five years from now. We all know how people come and go in your life, and anything can happen from one year to next.
I again thank you guys for helping me get through this. I need all the advise you can give.
A
female
reader, *problems*  +, writes (14 November 2011):
 Maybe if she saw you with someone else it may put her off a bit instead of having to confront her! Think that would be a little shamefull for her! But its a good way to let her no that you unavailable 'in that way' you never know she might back off, i remember being that 16 year old with a crush on an older guy and the last thing i would have wanted would have been confronted! But i suppose if shes making you feel uncomfortable you have to put a stop to it before it goes too far!! And if she did make a move on you..simply pull away she wont bite you! (Well i hope not) :) hope u work it out!! :) x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2011): Seriously, better get this under control or there could be serious legal consequences...even if you don't touch her, you could get in trouble. I would make darn sure you are not in a room alone with her...she could make up any kind of story and it would be your word against her word...dangerous territory!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 November 2011):
 You need to nip it in the bud~ Tell her she is very sweet/cute *whatever*, but that she is also WAY to young for you.
You need to grow up and act your age, she isn't some teenage ninja who is going to jump your bones and you are totally helpless.
I know you enjoy the idolization, but she has a huge crush on you and YOU need to be the grown up in this situation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2011): You need to tell her she is not welcomed to your place of work. Its loitering.
You need to change your number and block her from social networks.
You need to tell her you can no longer talk to her or see her as she is underaged and its inappropriate to continue anything.
I understand its one of the male fantasy to be with an underage girl- SICK - but can understand the esthetics of it all. Youth, beauty, the whole you get to be her teacher...yada yada yada thank you porn. I even know about the whole we used the underaged to sell beauty products and clothing and yet we shame and ridicule men who have such fantasies. I get it all.
I was 16 once and had a Male, Married teacher pursue me and I had a crush on him. Thank goodness his Wife and Children showed up at school to smack me to reality. I was in no way going to break apart a family because of my selfish girl crush. And shame on him, the older, wiser, accountable adult and married man for governing himself in such a way.
If My Dad had found out, I would have been reprimanded but I know he would have enforced legal action against the Married Man for abusing his position of Trust.
Wisdom must prevail vs sexual desires.
If you are really, for truly so weak and will give into temptation, then at least go to her Father for his approval.
;)
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A
male
reader, NFenix +, writes (14 November 2011):
This is most likely what you dont want to hear, but your going to have to confront her about it and you yourself are going to have to disconnect your feelings for her, if its something you dont think you can do then just wait till she is 18.
Im not assuming you want to have sex with her now, but even at your age and with hers people will see it as socially unacceptable and then you will eventually become some social stigma in.your community.
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