A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have a complicated relationship type thing with this guy I've been seeing for over 6 months here's the story and the problem. I met this guy back in September he was like the 3rd guy I met and we had a great connection. When we slept together I got a bit freaked out over my feelings about him as I said there was only one guy I'd get into a gay relationship with. So a week later I message him head okay with what I'm feeling and his met a new 18 y/o guy. We met up a couple of times and nothing changed until my parents had a break up in December and I couldn't meet him. I really missed him and started to embrace my feelings for him. When my parents got back together we met up again everything seemed great. We arranged to meet and for 2 weeks he kept letting me down. I asked him if he was in a relationship with the other guy which he denied until this day saying he don't feel he can cheat on him. My mind went into overdrive and I freaked out I couldn't imagine my life without seeing him I instantly missed meeting him more than the times he let me down. So eventually we met up again and we were back on track. I do believe that he would get rid of his new boyfriend for me as he has kind of said he would but I'm not at that place to be in a gay relationship yet. So we've met a couple of times and he always tells me how much better I am and how much he feels I care more than his new boyfriend. Knowing I can't give him what he wants I said to him let's meet while I'm off work and then we'll have a break you can see what happens with your new boyfriend and I can find myself. He was up for it then on a meet he let me down and all the first week of my holiday he just ignored me which was unusual. After the first day of holiday off I thought okay I'm tired of this let downs now it's been about 12. So was thinking to end it but when I went to end it I got anxious which told me I didn't want to end it. I am in love with him but at the same time I want to end it and then he said to me that he don't want to call quits with me but he can't do the cheating business anymore. I don't want to get into a relationship with him just yet though as I want to meet the guy I originally fell for and want to see what else is out there and if being bi/gay is for me. It's a whole new world I want to experience and not rush into a relationship with, I still need to decide if this is what I want to be gay/straight or bi I need to tell friends and family.Help I just really need some other people's out look some advice this is so messy and the only friend I have who knows I'm bi tells me to cut him off.
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female
reader, ArtisticBiscuit +, writes (28 May 2016):
 I think if he really loved you he'd end it with the relationship he already is in. If he doesn't want to cheat or not be with you then why is he still with the other person?I would go on a date with this new guy and see how he makes you feel. Then see which guy you miss more over the next few weeks. It shouldn't matter what sexuality you are, but if you're happy with the person you call your lover. (boyfriend/girlfriend). Don't keep waiting for a guy who won't commit, if you could be with someone else. Someone who could be equally amazing or better could be round the corner. In short: try the new guy out, dating wise and then see if you miss the new guy or other guy more... see what your heart tells you. Hope this helps- ArtisticBiscuit
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 March 2016):
 I think he likes you but he probably feels like you are messing him around because all you are offering is sex. He is in a relationship and he doesn't seem to want to cheat, it seems he wants to be with you, but you don't want the label. Therefore I think the kindest thing you can do is to set him free. The more times you meet up and have sex the more hurt he is going to be. So please stop meeting up with him. I understand why you feel like he is the one letting you down when he cancels but I think he is just scared off getting hurt.
As for the original guy you feel for, well its up to you if you want to wait around for him, it is your life to live after all, just make sure you are not letting a good guy go just so you can chase up on someone who might not be interested.
It is okay to experiment with your sexuality and figure out what you want as long as you are honest with others, and tell them you want nothing serious so that they do not get hurt.
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