A
female
age
36-40,
*artonLR24
writes: I have recently trying to get into conntact with my ex-boyfriend. We dated a great 4 years and then sperated. We didn't remain friends b/c the way it ended was horrible. It has been four more years since then and I am thinking about him all the time. I had emailed him to see if he wanted to meet up before I greaduated grad school this May to see if I could get closure. His response to me was "As of right now the answer is no. I will think about it for a couple days and get back to you. I think that it would be a very uncomfortable meeting. And I think that whatever you want to accomplish would be easier via email. If you would like to discuss anything in particular send me another email." I replied back telling him that it woulldn't be awkward and asked him to think about it. My friends tell me not to use the word "closure" b/c maybe he doesn't want and ending, but then again he has never emailed me. What should I do. I really would like to meet with him and talk about our past and see how he is now. If things workout b/w us, then that will be a different story. How can I get him to come?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): Dont do anything more!
The more you interrupt his present life the less likely he will be to respond. You asked him a question and have been giving an answer. As painful as it seems you need to except that answer and do not try to force him to change it. If he changes the answer to yes then that will be on his own accord and not because you hounded him. I believe that he is more likely to change his mind is you let him be. Leave it for 2 to 3 weeks and if you feel like asking him again then go ahead. Every time he checks his emails he may be expecting another one from you but the less likely he is to see one the more he will be thinking about what you actually wanted and maybe then he will respond. I wouldnt ask again. BUT, if you are desperate for the meeting and not trying again is not an option then I would leave it a couple of weeks.
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