A
male
age
26-29,
*rinceoftheEastAndWest
writes:So i am in a relationship with someone i barely know we have been together for rather 3 months.I proposed to her one night while i was drunk and ive been going with it every sense.I've introduce her to family and some friends as my fiance and she has done the same with her family and some of her friends, i am simply asking for advice because I've come to the point where we are looking to move in together and get a home , but i am currently in between transferring colleges and in between jobs so things are not looking to well for me at the moment.I have future plans of joining the military as as soon as possible because i love and want to provide for myself and my family and future family, so tonight i decided to have a talk with my future wife as of now my fiance , about where we stand and the conversation came down to what are we doing ? we are two broke people not doing anything.my response was i know what i need to do but its going to take time.I know how much time its going to take but im going to need some time to get things taken care of.She responded by getting up and running inside which resulted in her dropping her phone she then shot into the restroom locking herself in there crying , she then comes into my room and lays on the end of the bed as im laying at the head of the bed in the dark she doesnt say anything she is just crying.She then proceeds to put her headphones in and begins writing as i was doing the same except she had wrote in a note book as i wrote on here , one thing that STOOD out to me that she said was "in my heart i love you but in my mind it doesent make sense that we are together" which left me saying i love you and care about you but i will not force you to be with me. If if you want to be with me i need for you to understand that some things take time, if you dont like i said i wont force you to be with me but im here asking for advice on what i should do before i make any crucial decisions on this relationship.Also her family is rushing us to get married , at dinner a conversation was held between myself and my future mother in law the conversation pertained to me getting her daughter out her her grandparents basement where also her mother lives and works a part time job.Her mother insisted to pressure me into marrying her daughter and taking care of her.I have no problem taking care of my future wife , i currently let her stay with me rent free i fix things on her car when they are going wrong i aim to be a good man , but it seems like what i do isnt good enough, so i come to this point asking for advice
View related questions:
drunk, fiance, I love you, military Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 December 2016):
 You are to young, you barely know this girl, and her family are extremely controlling. Is this what you want for your future?
Apologize about the proposal but take it back and take things slow. Do not allow her to live with you rent free and do not allow people to walk all over you. You need to be a confident man and do what is best for you.
A
female
reader, KrisTaylor +, writes (14 December 2016):
I don't mean to come off as rude, but at your age it seems everything is dire. Sure, you made a mistake by proposing, but that doesn't mean you have to stick by that. You're young and able to change your mind! Nobody would hold it against you. 10 years from now, nobody will even remember that you drunkenly proposed to a girl you didn't know. I was married the minute I turned 18 to a man I barely knew, and it was the worst decision I could have made. If only I had this website back then, I probably would have changed my mind and been spared the heartache.I wish you the best, and hope that it all works out for you, no matter what you decide.
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (12 December 2016):
 Accept you made an error proposing while you were drunk and extricate yourself now. If you are uncomfortable with it now it will only get worse. Be strong for both of you. Cut yourself free.
...............................
|
