A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16 and i've fallen for what i was made to believe a 17 year old boy, recently, a month into our relationship he has confessed he is a 15 year old female but mentally has always been male, he looks male, acts male and sounds male yet has female genitalia, he is changing into a boy physically when he hits 16 using 'T shots'. I can't help but stay with him as i really do care and love him, but i'm scared the testosterone shots and upper surgery might go wrong or he might regret it but he's dead set and my opinion doesn't get a look in. I'm so worried. I just want some advice and thoughts from other people. Thankyou. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2009): do you really love him/her ? cause if you do talk to him about it.2 people are writing this message to you.i think you should stick with ur boy and stay as near as possible and support him and love him as much as you did when you thought he was a boy and act like there is nothing different because it will help him more and so will your love.good luck!E. and M.
A
female
reader, loving arms +, writes (6 February 2009):
you're boyfriend was wrong not to tell you from the off what the situation was but, that said it hasn't changed you're feelings. I have no real comments other than to say i love your openmindness and i wish you both the best of everything. Whatever the future holds for you guys , you'll both be beter for having known each other.
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A
female
reader, Unidentified-as-of-Late  +, writes (6 February 2009):
 Your a wonderful person, to not be asking 'Should I leave him?'
I agree with most all the people who have commented.
But there is one thing.
About the lady whom posted just before me... There's something you should really understand if you want to talk him out of this (for fear of complications with sugury)
He... He's not strang, or odd in any way, there are alot of girls who feel the same way.
Nobody has 'Bad' genes.
What starts people off on Gender Re-assignment surgury is often society, the way women are looked at, seen, over sexualized, abused, and self victimized.
Another one is sexuality, and the fear of being rejected by a person they truely care for because it would put as a homosexual relationship.
Another... is self loathing. It's a horrible, tearing feeling, when you see people of your Needed gender walking down the road, so oblivious to what they have. And it hurts, every time, just as bad as the last time you saw it.
There's anxieties, on being accepted by your parents, by society, by your friends; and in the end, even if they do reject you, it still feels so wrong, and so sick to be held in a body you're afraid of, because it's not you.
Your boyfriend probably is going through some very dark things right now, but I'm not going to tell you to accept it, or just 'save yourself the stress'.
Because you sound like a great person, and he must really trust, and care for you to tell you this. And... I just want to tell myself, that I know you'll do whats best for everyone, but mainly whats best for him and you.
Just think of it like this; The two of you were doing just wonderfully until this popped up. So does it really make a diffrence?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): My personal opinion on the issue of transgender is that individuals should be free to act and live as their chosen gender. But on the other hand I am rather opposed to gender re-assignment surgery. I think if you feel male you should be able to live as one and you should not have to manipulate your body in order to validate that you are who you are.
I think your partner needs to be shown acceptance of their situation.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): Your boyfriend sounds like me. Some girls just have really bad genes.
But, he seems to young to be making plans about a sex change. You both should talk to a professional, and get a second opinion about all of this.
You both seem a little to young to be considering sex changes. I understand he doesn't like what he is physically, but a sex change at his age seems to far fetched.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (5 February 2009):
 first of all you need to ask yourself if your prepared to be in a trangendered relationship and if you can handle the stress that he is going to be under while make the changes.
he is very lucky to have someone like you who cares so strongly for him. and i understand your concerns. why not do some research on it yourself so you understand what he will be going through and how you can help him? also, im sure that when the time comes, he will be 100% sure on what direction he wants to take in life. it is a big step to take and im sure he wouldnt make it lightly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): are you cool with being in a transgendered relationship? if not, just move on…there's enough to deal w/ in typical relationships let alone this kind…and you're young…save yourself the stress
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A
female
reader, Helper1022  +, writes (4 February 2009):
In real life? let me know how it goes and really wow if u really love her then go for it r u gay or bi? that can help too?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): I understand your stress and your worries..
U need to talk about it with her aswell. if you love her as who she is then you will understand this is for the best.. in the end it will go down as a success no matter what any one says..
if you are really that unsure keep going on in the relationship and see how it ends up but keeps your options and opinions left out clear to be heard.
it sounds like she really trusts u in keeping this top notch.. and if you really care you would let this go ahead and be with her by her side .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): If you really love him then staying with him is the right thing to do, supporting him through his operations and stuff will show you really love and care for him. Most people would freak out in this kind of situation and dump the boy, but you didn't you have shown you are truely genuine. If this is something he wants to go through with, don't try and stop him, help him with it I'm sure he's just as scared as you are about this and he is probably scared about losing you aswell. Show him you are there for him no matter what and there is nothing more you could do to help. x
hope this help you, if you want to talk more message me.
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