A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear agony aunts,This year, I've starting hanging out with a new group of people, and they're really fun to be with. We're four girls and a guy.Now my question is about the guy. I've only ever seen with him when the other girls were around, and right from the start, I've only wanted to be friends with him, no more, and nothing could change my mind. Just the thought of having a romantic relationship makes me kind of... disgusted. The thing is, today he sent me a message asking if I wanted to hang out with him tomorrow. it seemed to be implying just the two of us, which made me pretty uncomfortable, and I found an excuse to decline. However, I know I won't be able to evade this indefinitely, so I was wondering, how can I set boundaries without making it awkward between us? I don't want to cut all contact, cause he's still a nice guy, and it would also make it weird with my girl friends... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, I'm not even sure if he even really wanted to see me alone, but it was bothering me... I think next time it happens, if it ever does, I'll play dumb and make him believe that I'm assuming he's planning a GROUP hangout, and see how he reacts... yeah, it's kind of sneaky, but it's the only way I can bring his intentions out into the open without directly asking him, which would be very awkward if I proved to be wrong :P
And don't worry, I'm not planning to lead him on in ANY way x)
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (26 May 2011):
 does he ask the other girls to see him alone? are you sure he wants more than friendship with you? give him a chance if you like him but if he tries to make you into more than friends, just be honest with him and tell him that you like him but ONLY as a friend. do not make excuses up (like telling him you would go with him but are worried it may affect the friendship or you fancy someone else or you are still trying to get over an ex - NO bogus excuses ok? coz this will only give him hope that one day you will change your mind and this is when it WILL get uncomfortable for you!)
x
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