A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi There, I wondered if any guys would help me with this problem. My boy friend if 1 year has issues due to his disability, therefore he has trust issues. He pushes me away sometimes and I stay in the background and let him know that i'm still there for him. When he's ready to reach out he does. He pushed me away again 3 months ago, and I have told him that if a relation ship is too much for him I'm prepared to be platonic friends. As I care about him I do not wish to see him unhappy. I have asked him to please return my things left at his home which has has ignored, and when I called him to see how he is doing he became emotional telling me not to call. Please can any Men throw some light on to this.Regards,Lynda. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (8 October 2012):
 I agree with Jannie. I think he is testing you to see how loyal you will be to him.
He obviously has issues with his disability and is defensive (maybe other women have ignored him or brushed him off because of it).
It's all very well constantly pulling away from someone to test them, but for that other person it can be very stressful and wearing.
You have asked for your stuff back and said you will be platonic (I can totally understad why you would do this) but he has interpreted your action in the worst way because he thinks you are being judgemental about his disability...when REALLY you are reacting to being constantly pushed away.
Give him space, he has asked you not to call...so don't. He has to realise that you have needs too and deserve to have a boyfriend who doesn't constantly test and push away.
As for his disability, he needs to come to terms with it and, like millions of other people living with disability,get on with life and apreciate that people do, in fact, care about him as a person.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 October 2012):
 He does want a romantic relationship, but only when he feels well and the woman can tolerate having intimacy only once in a while. When you mention platonic friends, and having your stuff back it means you are terminating the romance. You are free to do whatever you want and he has no reason to be angry with you. He is just angry with his condition and that maybe he'll never find what he needs in a woman.
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