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female
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anonymous
writes: I ended a 2 1/2 year relationship with a married man about 6 months ago. Since then, I have become close to someone who told me he recently ended a relationship with another woman and had no contact with her. However, I just found out that he has been emailing her back and forth and actually told her a few days ago that he missed her! Maybe I should mention that he is separated but not divorced from his wife. Is he just a huge player who is telling people what he thinks they want to hear? Why do I keep ending up in these situations?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2005): I don't want to sound like a know-it-all, but I think the reason you date married men is because somewhere, deep down inside, you might not think you are worthy to have a boyfriend of your own. Most woman in "those" kind of relationships are in them because their self esteem is very low. So low that they forget it's not alright to accept nothing but the best for themselves. Instead they elect to a life of waiting for phone calls, for there "partner" to make time for them etc. Affairs are usually one sided. It's always about what is convenient for the married one. They (the married ones) talk a good game, and say the stuff that your head wants to hear, but in the end most of what they say are lies. Especially the long termers. Forgive the bluntness, but if they really didn't want to be married they wouldn't be. Why get divorced if you are giving them what is missing in their lives? They will tell you anything to keep you hanging on, you become the person that makes makes their world alright albeit for one or two nights a week/month, whatever. They'll never have to deal with whatever is wrong in the marriage if you provide the quick fix. Believe me, you are too good for that. I don't know you, but anyone who finds themselves as the "other" woman, deserves more for themselves. If you are too scared to be in a relationship, it's ok to be alone. Maybe you should try being alone for awhile. Realize the kind of things you want for yourself, your life. If down deep you want the family life then persue it, but on your terms, on what you want for yourself. You'll find the single guy you are looking for, and make the life you want to build together.Don't forget the brilliant, beautiful person you were born to be.Take care and good luck.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (10 October 2005):
 Maybe you like being the other woman. Maybe you like breaking up households and hurting people. Maybe destroying families is fun for you. Only you can say. My advice is for you to quit acting like the tramp and get yourself into a decent relationship.
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A
reader, pops +, writes (9 October 2005):
have you considered that you may date married men because you want to be safe? You don't have to make a commitment, you can end it at anytime, and the guy can't make a stink or his wife will find out? Sounds like a ticket for failure, but one that you want for some reason. If you want to change, don't date married men, separated or not.
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