A
male
age
36-40,
*mSadButTrue
writes:I have been going out with my girlfriend for almost 4 years now since we were in college. She just got a job in a new town, and we got an apartment living together for the first time. She moved in about a month ago, and I was supposed to move in during mid August when my job was to start. As a surprise, I worked it out so I would be able to move in early last week. I got to the apartment while she was at work, got all moved in, and made her a romantic dinner: complete with champagne to surprise her when she got home. When she got home, she was super excited to see me, and everything seemed great. She seemed as happy as I was hoping during dinner, and I was full of joy. After dinner, I told her to relax while I cleaned up the kitchen and did the dishes. After cleaning up, I went over to the couch with her to snuggle and watch tv. Disappointingly, she was much more interested in the TV than she was with me. The romantic mood that the surprise arrival and dinner had sparked was shot. She sat around watching TV, uninterested in me. I would try to hug and kiss her, but she would just brush me away. The next night I had dinner ready again for her and the scenario was nearly identical. Its been that way for a week now. I feel really bad, because she is my best friend and it has never been like this. We have always had a reasonably healthy sexual/physical relationship (I'm male, so I would always prefer more, but her happiness is my main goal), but I feel like it might be falling apart now that we are living together. I have read of several similar stories online, but none of them seem to be good news. I hate to even consider sex to be an issue, but I can't deny the sexual frustrations that I feel may be around the corner. I want to circumvent this before it gets to be a real issue so any advise would be a huge help.Before I moved in, we were both super excited to have our own place where we wouldn't have to deal with roommates for privacy. She even called me several times telling me how aroused she was and couldn't wait until I arrived. It is not just sex, but the entire physical connection that has me concerned. I tried talking to her about it, but she is bringing up what seems to be excuses (tired at morning or night, just wants to watch tv, needs to clean the apartment, ect..). I never ask any questions like this online, but I want to fix this before it becomes an issue. I love her to death, but she's seeming more like family and less like a girlfriend. It seems like she just wants the apartment to be like sitting around with her parents. Please help! Thank you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): Maybe the surprise move-in was a bit too much for her! Its a very big step to move in with someone and she just wasn't ready yet. Mentally you have to prepare for that sort of thing and perhaps you jumped the gun a little. Ask her if she wasn't prepared for you to move in and see if you can give her a little space. Also, it can become suffocating when someone runs around you trying to please you all the time. Stop with the over-doing stuf thing like cooking, cleaning, snuggling all the time. Give her a chance to come to you... She might just need some space! BUT like i said ask her what is bothering her coz something is!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): Some missing info, how old is she? did you guys have sex before moving in?
Does she have a sex drive and if so is it possiable she is getting off in some other way than doing it with you?
How come you are the only one who actually tries to get through that? because you make it sound like she doesnt give a shit
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