A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently started a position in a new office far from my home. Strangely enough, my boss' wife suggested that I meet one of the other coworkers. He had just gotten out of a relationship and after I told her I was single, she thought we would be a good match. She said he ended it with her because of the distance.I'm not into the whole dating at work but I was told he would start working in another nearby office soon so that got rid of that problem. When I met my new male coworker, I could tell the attraction was there but I kept it professional. I was paid to come in and observe. A friendship began instantly.I wasn't going to start until a month later but I still was in contact with him. He had gone away on vacation too during this time. Before we both went away, we had met in the parking lot, spoke for an hour and I could have sworn he was about to kiss me but instead we just hugged. I feel like if i turned my head towards him, it would have happened but I don't know, I squeezed him instead and ran off in my car. Thats how we ended it before both going our separate ways.While we both were gone, he told me he leased an apartment in my building and was moving in late october.I started working about a week ago and ran into him. I heard another coworker talking to him about somebody and I could see him getting hesitant and nervous. I let it go and I assumed they were talking about someone he was dating or seeing. Then he mentioned how he during a hurricane he was a t work with his at the time girlfriend. During that week we were getting along great but I wanted to see what his situation was. He would drive me to the train station after work and i always gave him a kiss on the cheek goodbye and a hug. I wanted to ask him if his then girlfriend is still his girlfriend. (By the way, neither of us ever mention seeing or talking to anyone else). I didn't have the guts but I did send him a message saying I didn't know you had girlfriend.. My phone had been turned off and so I didn't see what he wrote until after work that day. During work, I asked my boss' wife if he did have a girlfriend. She said of course he does. That it was his ex-gf. That she lives in NJ. She said she lives in another state and has a child. That day at work I just completely avoided him. And he looked pissed at me. Eventually, he hung around me and when it was just the two of us alone in the lunch room, he asked me why I was hurting his feelings. I didn't say anything. I actually got really angry instead. Was he joking? He's the one having a girlfriend and not mentioning a word. When I got home, I saw that he replied to my message with a Yes she lives in Jersey. Did i mention her in the car? (He didn't). I explained that he mentioned it in the lunch room and I'm shocked he never mentioned it before since it sounds like they were dating for years. He said he was seeing someone. And that he usually doesn't discuss his personal life. (Yet he was). Today in work, he seemed really distant to me. I still have to observe him and I do when theres a patient in there and then I leave. I keep it professional. Then the rest of the day he was being kinda distant and I just showed him I'll be distant too. We had to speak to an insurance lady and he walked in and stayed in while I was speaking to her. He was on the computer. I immediately left when I was done but he hung around. He had a patient so I observed once again and when they finished, I had to go make a phone call. He saw me and repeated something I told him, and I just repeated what he said, coldly, and left. I didn't meant to, but I don't know what he wants from me.When I got back, he was in the lunch room and it was the end of the day. I asked him stuff we used to talk about. We laughed. We joked. He sat around with me and a few others. We talked about everything we have interests in. It was like when I never found out he was seeing someone. He had a patient coming up and I told hiM id watch.Then my friend asked if I wanted a ride home, and I said sure of course. I smiled at him.. although it was a forced smile and I was sad. His eyes widened and he like kinda jumped up and looked at me. He didn't want me to go. I said I'll watch next time. I changed and as I passed him in the hall, he gazed at me from afar (I would always give him a hug goodbye) and I walked by him telling him Ill see him soon. I turned around and I saw him turning around too =[What do you guys think? I want to tell him I miss how we were. I liked getting to know him. I miss having a friend at work who is a doctor like me. I don't know what to do. On top of it, he's moving in soon into my building so Ill be seeing him at home no matter what. Do I tell him I miss my friend or do I do nothing?Thankfully yours 3 peace and love
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tottochan  +, writes (9 October 2015):
I don't understand - why did your boss' wife set you up with this man if she knew he was not actually single?
However, I agree with the other poster - it is best that you end things with this person. Just keep his distance from him, because otherwise he will dangle both you and his girlfriend on a string.
Best of luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2015): You're playing with fire. You're getting attached to a taken man, it is wrong. Stop with all this silliness and find someone available.
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