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female
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anonymous
writes: Hello, me and my best friend, let’s call her Kate, we had met in a strange way. She was in the year above me and I just randomly got her address off my brother and we got chatting, after a few conversations we got on really well so met up one day. Now I realise it was very rushed. We became best friends, we really connected, she was just like me, I loved her she was so amazing. Anyway around last summer, well this time last year, she really hurt me in subtle sort of ways, I then realised she was manipulative and not the person I thought she was. I went through depression for a while and saw a psychologist and things, sorry I sound like some sad case. And so she made one poor attempt to make friends with me, I refused and that was it. I still saw her around school but we didn’t say anything just a quick glance really. I tried to sort of carry on with things and I got a new best friend and I shall call her Sarah, and she's still my best friend now and as much as I love her I still miss Kate so so much. Sarah’s great but we have arguments, ya know, not massive ones, normal ones that anyone has and I feel she takes advantage of me which Kate never did. This has been getting me down for a while and I’ve been contemplating talking to her again. I can't talk to anyone else about it because they the same things, "no she's a bitch." I really do miss her more than anything. Sorry this is so long, don’t feel you have to read it but if anyone’s got any ideas that would be a lovely help Thank you so much xxxxxxxxxxx
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female
reader, anon2907  +, writes (31 July 2006):
 Hey,
It sounds like you have a tough time with your friends :)
This kate person - you don't say what she did exactly - are you sure that she was being maniplulative and that there was no reasonably explanation? If not, then maybe it's time to go back and revisit things.
If she was being manipulative it sounds like you're better off keeping her at arms length at the very least. But this new best friends doesn't sound much better. It's OK to have fights with your friends, but if you feel unhappy about things maybe you need to take some time out to think things through.
I'd suggest you might be better off having a number of good friends rather than relying on one best friend. It's easy for people to let you down when you're focussed on one another in a 1:1 relationship be it best friends or bf/gf. If you had a number of friends you might not feel so vulnerable to them - does that make sense?
You don't have to lose your friendship with Sarah to go and talk to Kate - maybe having them both as friends might be a solution? Then each one of them might value your friendship a tiny bit more.
good luck,
Anon2907
PS you don't sound like a sad case, it's refreshing to hear that people are genuined concerned about their friendships. :)
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