A
male
age
30-35,
*ryin2findabalance
writes:I miss my girlfriend so much. My girl friend and I just broke up after about 3 years. I miss her alot it hurts me not to be around her we have broken up before and we have gotten back togther but this time feels diffrent she usally calls and we talk even though we arnet togther not this time though I called her a couple times but she didnt seem very intrested in talking to me. to me this is an obvious sign that she is truly over me but i was wondering for a female perspective of other things that might be happining in her mind
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Hayatori +, writes (1 December 2009):
 Here are some steps into getting her to want you again:Step 1: Agree With The Break Up. I know this may sound counter intuitive however, it seems to me that you tried calling, begging, etc... All of that makes you sound desperate... You DON'T want to seem desperate.You should write her a short handwritten letter saying something like: "Hey, sorry for going crazy on you after you broke up with me. You were right, that was the best thing for us to do."(Note: You don't want to over do it however, you could add "Your right, I've been thinking the same thing for a while now." This would depend on what caused the breakup.)Step 2: Cut Off All Communication With Your ExGive both you and your ex space. This will give both you and your ex time to think. When/if your ex does call you, don't stay on the phone for too long. Make it seem like your busy even if your not and you want to have a friendly tone. When and if your ex calls say something like "Hey, its great to hear from you! I'm very busy and I don't have much time to talk. Maybe we can talk later. I don't have a lot of time to talk right now" If your ex calls and wants to meet you over coffee or something like that then you should say "Maybe, that sounds good. When would you like to do it?" Don't get too excited. Stay calm and keep a calm voice.Remember, you want to cut the conversation short. DON'T tell them why your busy. Doing this will make you seem mysterious and interesting instead of predictable and boring. This will also make your ex go crazy and you will be on their mind often.(Note: If your ex doesn't call you after about a month or 2, then you could call them and say "Hey, I just want to thank you for what you did. You really helped me" Don't tell them what it is until they either call back or you see them in person. If your going to do this your going to have to think of a reason to thank them.)Step 3: Focus on YourselfTry to improve yourself. Like clearing up/reducing your acne, improve your hair, shave if needed, etc...Step 4: Go out and have fun. Hang out with your friends again. Seek the kindness and support of others to help you get through this difficult time. Take up a hobby. You can also take up a sport. Sports don't give you much time to think which is good because it will keep you busy and keep you from getting depressed thinking about your ex.(Note: This may help OR it may make things worse and I wouldn't risk it but if your not making any progress at all with these other steps than you can try dating other people. You can let your ex know if you want. One of two things will happen, Your ex will start getting jealous even if they don't admit it or show it and they will fight for your love OR they might try to move on because they might think they don't have a chance. This is why I wouldn't recommend this.)Step 5: Meeting Your Ex. If you and your ex haven't planned a meeting since a month or 2 after the breakup then call them up and plan the meeting. When you guys do meet, just act normal. Don't get too excited or anything. After meeting them wait about a week or 2 to meet them again. After meeting them a second time, wait about a couple of days to meet them a third time. Now, if you guys have been getting along and your ex hasn't asked you out by now then you should ask them out. Most likely, the reason why they haven't asked you out is because they either think your going to say no and/or because they are shy and nervous. If they have asked you out, then of course say yes.
A
female
reader, KANDIWRPR +, writes (1 December 2009):
 wow..my relationship is heading that way
but its more like he doesnt care
but if i was the one who doesnt want to be with you
there has to be a good reason right?
ok so the 3 years together was good?
mayb she lost feelings
mayb she just got fed up wit braking up and making up
was there a specific reason why you guys broke up?
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (30 November 2009):
 I think your gut feeling that this time it is truly over are correct.
It's time to accept this relationship is ended and its time for you to pick yourself up and move on with your life.
good luck
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