A
female
age
36-40,
*aetitia
writes:Long story short, my ex-bf broke up with me almost 2 months ago. I miss him terribly. He wants to remain friends with me on skype and whenever he logs on and I am online tries to talk to me, but there are no other signs of him wanting me back (one of my gfs thinks that he wants to keep in touch because he doesn't have the guts to ask me out again). He broke up with me because he got the cold feet and wasn't ready for anything and didn't see future for us.I recently met this new guy on a dating website and he is interested in dating me. He is 25, and I am 24, while my ex was 22. I like the new guy sort of...although I find him very geeky, but he seems like a serious guy.Should I start dating the new guy? Or should I ask my ex if he is willing to give us another chance? Anyone been in this situation?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 June 2010):
 You have got the answer from the lion's mouth.This relationship is dead and you need to focus on your new friend.
Wean yourself of your ex , go out, enjoy and have fun.
A
female
reader, laetitia +, writes (4 June 2010):
laetitia is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks all you helped. I would like to provide an update on my situation. I decided to be "brave" and I asked my ex to meet me in person and I asked him directly if we have another chance as couple together. I also told him that I have an upcoming date with a new guy.
His response - "for the time being, I am not ready to be in a relationship. You should go ahead and see how it goes with the new guy. And let me know how ur date went. I would like us not to be total strangers after this."
I further asked him to give me a definite answer instead of "for the time being" and then he pretty much agreed that we can't get together ever.
It really sucks, but now I know not to have any hopes for him and I feel that moving-on would be easier. Any further advice from you on the situation will be greatly appreciated.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (25 May 2010):
 When you clear things up with your ex, you might tell him that you are interested in something new. That's the point when he might try to get you back, out of jealousy or say go ahead. He might also feel for the first time, you don't know what you have until you lost it. Pay no attention to that. You don't owe him any explanations. He didn't give you clear reasons for the breakup. The reasons he gave you weren't valid anyway. It's not like you want him to marry you tomorrow. He can't take back his words. You are free as a bird.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (25 May 2010):
Your ex b/f has commitment problems and is too immature to have any meaningful relationship. He is not ready for any commitments .Don't waste your time over him because he has lots of growing up to do.
It is good that you have another choice. There is no harm going out with the new guy . Don't box yourself into a corner. Go out and have fun.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (25 May 2010):
 First ask yourself why you want to date the new guy? Are you on the rebound and only looking for attention and affection? Don't use the new guy like that.
You still seem to be hung up on your ex, and staying in contact with him is not helping you. I believe that when men break up with you it's for good. If he wanted to patch things up he would have done so...he's only hanging around because it's easier to slowly let go than to do it cold turkey. But don't mistake his behaviour as a sign that he wants to get back together...if he wanted to, he would have done so.
Now, the new guy...only date him if you see yourself in a relationship with him. I get the sense that you're looking for someone to make you feel better at this difficult time. He will make you feel better, he will make you feel wanted, but what will happen once you're over your ex? Don't get involved if you can't give him a 100% and I don't think that you can do this right now.
If you like the new guy and don't want to lose the connection, be honest with him. Tell him that you've just gotten out of a relationship and might not be ready to enter into anything new. Are you able to meet up with him as friends only...take it slow?
Starting something new when you're still hung up over something else is never a good idea. You will get confused, you will hurt the new guy and you won't get anywhere.
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