A
female
age
51-59,
*orrow1969
writes:I desperately need guidance. My married of 17 years broke up a few years ago and one year later I met this wonderful man whom I believed was the love of my life....he was also part of my past growing up. We clicked instantly, fell in love, healed each other, completed each other, loved being with each other and it lasted for over one year. He was my absolute everything and still is. He is very confused as he is going through a rough separation and his ex wife which made our relationship very difficult however we pulled through. He recently indicated that he wanted to be single for a while as he has been married for so long and never got the chance to see what is out there. He met this woman on line and has been seeing her for a few weeks and they spent the last two weekends together. The thought of them being together either socially or intimately is killing me inside. We did spend a few nights together last week all in the while he was with this other lady and I know he still truly loves me....the bond we shared was to true...how long will this last....I'm in so much pain and I love him so much.....
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broke up, ex-wife, fell in love, his ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): at first i wouldn't let that stress me out unless he is truely there for me I would leave him alone because there are more men out there and you can find the one that right for you and will be there to commit and stand by your side, so keep your head up the lord on your side God Bless
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (24 November 2008):
 Stop calling him. Go to the store and stock up on tissues, you'll be needing them for awhile I'm afraid. You WILL feel better eventually. In the meantime stay busy, go out with friends, do anything you can think of to occupy your thoughts. But you must not contact him, let him come to you.
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A
female
reader, Sorrow1969 +, writes (24 November 2008):
Sorrow1969 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just had a meltdown this afternoon and cried cried cried all the way home. I tried to call him and of course, he won't take my calls.....what do I need to do? I know the right thing to do is give him the space but I cannot bare the thought of him with another woman...it sickens me...if he was alone to sort out things that would be a different story...that's the part I am having the hardest time to deal with....anothen woman with the man I love.....help!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): I really feel sorry for you because being pushed aside for someone else really hurts. At least he is being honest with you though, and if it's commitment you want maybe best to separate till he sorts himself out. You'd be taking the risk of losing him altogether but then you could anyway. If it was your decision you might feel stronger.
Find some support from friends and family and try to bring some new things and people into your life so you are less dependent on him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): I was just in a relationship like this. My guy was married 15 years and going through a separation when we got together a year and a half ago. We recently broke up, as he needs space to work out his emotions over the breakup of his marriage. My guess is that after being married for so long he also wants to date other women instead of "settling" for the first woman he dated post breakup. As hurtful as this is, it sounds like you don't really have a choice in the matter. My advice would be to let him know that you can't see him right now while he's dating other women. Painful yes, but less so than only having him when he has nothing else to do. Let him go, grieve the breakup, and go on with your life. If he reappears after a time and wants to get back with you in a monogamous relationship, then you could decide which way to go. Who knows, maybe you won't want him back by then!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 November 2008):
I think your relationship sounds a tad one-sided at this point. I guess if I were you I'd back off a bit and not make myself so available to him. If you come across as too clingy you may drive him off.
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