A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A couple of months ago i broke up with my boyfriend. Well actually he broke up with me. I was really in love with him and when he broke up with me i broke down. he really hurt me. I stopped doing the things i did and i really didn't care much for anything. I was so depressed that i put my life on hold and i just lay down and cry all day. It took me a long time to feel better, and i still don't think i'm ok, but i'm definitely better and ready to get back on my feet. And then the other night i went out with some friends and i met a guy. He asked me out and i said yes... even though i wasnt sure it was such a good idea. So we went out last night and to be honest, it was the 4 longest and most boring hours of my life .. i don't know what's wrong with me, all of the time i was with this guy i missed my ex soo much, wishing i was still with him, remembering the things i did with him and thinking how much this guy isn't all of the things my ex was. Don't get me wrong my ex had a lot of flaws but i loved him so much that i never really care about the bad things, and of course he had his good things too. But i don't get it... this new guy is sweet and good looking and he really likes me, why can't i like him too ? he's a great guy but it just doesn't make me feel anything... what's wrong with me? Is it too soon to start dating again?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2011): As I read your question. I am here to tell you, I'm sorry I and I hope for your sanity, your dignity, especially your heartIt doesn't take as long as it is for me. It's exactly two yearsfor me and I still have no desire to date anyone let alone exclusivelyWhat is wrong with you, you ask ? I say nothing at all. Only youknow everything, the good times and bad, the laughs, wiping away each other's tears, to in between the sheets! No one will compare, no one elsewill fit into your heart right now it's not that you don't have enough love in yourHeart3, It's just that it's " ALL" for Him and him alone. I say be proud of that it shows true devotion to not only someone else but also for you too. I feel in my gut as I wish, hope, and yes Pray for just a sign to wait and no one has to know. I've learned I got to manyUNWANTED opinions and they are the worst ones believe me! They can set you off while you are actually having a good day and then your mind will run from the start to the end and then to the middle and hopefully, you will not blow up his phone with trying to say the right thing at hope its the right time for him. It's so unfair to them, I know as I did it tonight. It''s two years and waiting but if it worth it then stay put! Can you just see yourself scramble to get out of a relationship because he came back and you want him back too. But then there's a third heart in that becomes an obstacle and that person is human with a heart too3!So the saying goes if it's meant to be it will be! So true about some love lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead. I'm not young but not old, 45 to be exact. I have two beautiful healthy boys who miss him too. It's hard out there, I know. I am not claiming to be an expert on this but with my own experience I feel compelled to share with you my own came along and I thank God for if not more time for the time we did have. I thank him for so many things as you do I'm sure. He showed me Im not a quitter, teaching me patience omg, I have ZERO TOLERANCE FOR THAT ONE, as you see I didn't say taught. LoL You know what's best for you if you are looking for a sign as I do and that gets you through the day, the week or even the years. I say, It's all good.:) Stay positive and think of the reward. It will just be a-continuation because neither one moved on for obvious reasons. Sometimes it's not just the right time, your fault, his fault or combined.. When you are actually enjoying missing him, you are not ready to let go. Time will tell. Good Luck to you, I wish. hope, and will pray thingswork it's way out and he returns to you where he belongs .
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): I'm thinking you're not healed enough yet for dating. Just because you're over the worst part of the grief doesn't mean you're ready to jump into dating. You are focusing on your ex still, so it is better to start doing fun things that don't include men.
Focus on your hobbies, your friends and family, and yourself! Allow yourself time to really heal. Even after the tears stop doesn't mean you're all better. A lot goes into getting passed things and letting go.
Better to heal fully than force yourself into a situation where you are uncomfortable. You will heal, and you will find someone new. When that happens, you will be a better you and able to move on without comparing everything to your ex.
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