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*hris_gray21
writes: just wondering as i was chatting to my girlfriend about this the other night about her being a model she didnt believe she could as she has had 2 children and hated her body to every inch which i dont, so i set her up on a net website and well i was fine was a bit of harmless fun etc now she is having so many offers from professional photographers to pop along for some shoots as she has the girl next door look they are after the sexy underware etc i put my foot down to no nude and topless etc ... and she is well up for it ... and im really happy for her. she wants me there with her on ever shoot which is fair enough and i wouldnt let her go alone as we all know why men do photography or glamour girls etc its not cos its artistic ... but now its becoming a reality as she has a shoot coming soon im not sure how i feel about it ... I do trust her and i know she loves me very much but i always have felt she can do better than me ( my insecurity i know ) but at the same time i dont want to stop her doing this ( plus was my idea )just any advice how i can let her persue this and i can stop my fear as it will come between us and it will cause problems wqhich really is shouldnt so please HELP cheerschris Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2006): Hi Chris, I cannot see any problems arising from this unless you allow it. It comes down to the committment and bond you both share. You may have trust issues which is causing your fears and anxiety about all of this. It's good that you are recognizing those fears, because you know you own this problem and it 'could eventually' destroy your relationship. It comes down to assessing her as a person. If this gf of yours is committed to you, has always been trustworthy and her behaviours are ones of integrity then you should have no worries.
While, I think it's great that she has dealt with her 'body image' problem through modeling, a girl could get nice photo jobs modeling lingerie, clothing, etc. You were smart to encourage her to take a stand and say 'no' to nude photography. But you and she still have to be careful, out there. While there are many good, reputable photographers out there, there likely are some unscrupulous types, that would exploit her and could be very convincing, in persuading her to take off her clothing. Tell her your concerns for her professional modeling future. When you put something out on the web, it lives on forever. Files and links are copied and moved around endlessly.. If she poses nude and it's on the web, her image stays out there in cyberspace for ever. Take note, this could be the work that her children and grandchildren will find under her name, someday. Scary thought. Make sure she has made her mind up totally as to what type of modeling she will and will not do. All of this should be discussed with prospective photographers in advance and in great detail. Then no matter what, she should stick to her beliefs, wants and needs. If a photographer even suggests nudity, she'll have to have the 'balls to walk out'. Good Luck, Chris and just trust her. Take Care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2006): Have you not talked about your concerns with her? Shouldn't that be the first thing you try?
A relationship will only work if you COMMUNICATE.
If something bothers you, you should feel comfortable being able to tell her. Perhaps she can resolve your fears and continue doing the modelling. You never know!
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reader, camille  +, writes (21 June 2006):
 Firstly as you pointed out, you set this up so I'm afraid it's a case of you made your bed, you have to lie in it. You should try and be proud of her. She also had insecurities and this has helped her overcome them I'd imagine. Now you need to tackle yours. She's with you and you trust her so there shouldn't be a problem. The thing I did worry about was your choice of word: "how I can LET her persue this". You can't not "let" her as she's a free agent, a human with the right to make choices, not you making them for her, so just give yourself a talking to as she shouldn't have to give it up for you, even if you did start it. Only you can keep a check on your feelings and if you try hard and try to keep the jealousy at bay, there's no reason you can't eventually overcome your issues.
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reader, chris_gray21 +, writes (21 June 2006):
chris_gray21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust to add it seems to have been altered .. so to clarify my girlfriend has never been a model at the moment she is a mum of 2 persuing a college corse and volutary work in social car and mentoring .. so i didnt meet a model on the net and now i dont like her job sorry but the heading on this question is somewhat inaccurate! If you read the post you will see that! Thanks.
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