A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi,A few months ago, a male friend of mine whom I became very close with, asked me out and I rejected him - twice. We were extremely good friends; we had a lot in common and we got on well with each other - I appreciated his company and he appreciated mine. However, soon after I rejected him we started drifting apart, and he would talk about me with some of his friends since they would message me asking why I pushed him away. Anyway, we had an argument about it and things got pretty messy, but it's been half a year now and it's been playing on my mind. I really want to be friends with him again, and after all of this; I think I may like him. I'll speak to him randomly sometimes when other people are around, but when we're alone he doesn't want anything to do with me. Whether that be out of awkwardness or the fact that he may have gotten over me, I don't know. What should I do - keep trying to mend our broken yet messy friendship and see where things go or should I forget about him and try to move on? If so, how do I start to mend the friendship or how should I try and get past him? Your help and advice would mean so much to me. Thank you.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 March 2015):
 He was just asking you out, not pressuring you into anything. You can talk negotiate how often you are going to see each other then decide if the frequency satisfies you both. He wouldn't have asked you twice if he didn't feel you had a good thing going on. You can tell him it's been half a year and he's still on your mind. The best way to mend a friendship is being honest and express what you need.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your reply. I'll think about you've put, I absolutely agree with you. I was just so confused at the time when it happened, and I guess it was just out of nerves and pressure that I rejected him. But that's what I'm afraid of happening again if I tell him how I really feel; I would like to get with him but the pressure, commitment, the fact that I am actually a really shy person and that I don't think I'm entirely ready for a relationship deters me. If there anything else you can recommend me to do? Thank you so much for you help, I greatly appreciate it.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (28 March 2015):
I am sure he's not interested in being friends again. His time and effort is better spent on seeking another girl who's sure to reciprocate. The only way to get his attention is to ask him out but first honestly explain to him why the first time you rejected him. It could be shyness or not being ready for relationships. There's a 50/50 chance he would believe you. Some believe that chemistry takes time to develop while others think that if it's not there at first, there won't be forever. You also have to be able to convince him why you think dating him would work out, after he was "once bitten, twice shy". Imagine being rejected twice. He took the risk and asked you out. He knew the risk was ruining the friendship. You have to give him time to move on from you so that you could be cool with him again in the future.
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