A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Recently my partner and I got engaged and we are so very excited! I am still friends with a girl from my childhood/schooling and was bridesmaid at her wedding a few years ago.Anyway she was sending her congratulations to me and asking when we were planning the wedding. I replied that we hadn't really got to thinking about a date and took the opportunity to also ask if she'd be my bridesmaid/made of honor (just to note, she asked me via sms so the way of asking is not an issue). She never replied, but later in the day was sms'ing me about some other things.I know we've drifted apart over the past few years but I was a bit disappointed she didnt reply and give an answer. My other friend was so excited and honored I asked her!This particular friend has been bridesmaid for 3 or 4 other friends and I know she sometimes lacks 'thoughtfulness', she'd think of the cost of being one before the actual meaning of my being so happy her being one...well thats what im thinking anyway.So i just want to know whether i'm assuming here, or should i just wait until we set a date (which could be over a year away anyway) and then ask her again what she thinks? Or do i contact her earlier?Thanks in advance
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2012): Can I ask is this friend married herself? You say she has been a bridesmaid about 3 or 4 times, I know this shouldn't matter, but maybe she is simply over being a bridesmaid, and is trying to think of a way to tell you, but hasn;t found one yet. Also if she isn't already married herself, she may have that always a bridesmaid never a bride thing going on.My best friend's cousin had been a bridesmaid 4 times, and when my best friend (her cousin) asked her to be her bridesmaid she refused because as she said "I'm always a bridesmaid, and the only time I will ever be in a bridal party again is if I am the bride, so thanks but no thanks". Pretty brutal but at least she was honest. It is lovely that you want her to be, but maybe she just doesn;t have it in her to be one yet again. I would ask her again, but this time do not ask via text, call her and ask that way it's harder for her to ignore your question. Good Luck, and Congratulations on your engagement
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