A
female
age
41-50,
*onfusedKat
writes:Not Sure If I Should Stay With My Husband...My husband and I have been married for a little over 3 years now. We met at a stressful point in my life and he was a strong support for me. We only dated for about 6 months before getting married. Before him, I thought I'd never get married and leaned more towards f/f relationships. I've never been a sexual creature, he is. I know he loves me so much and I fear that I only married for the security he gave and fear that I wouldn't find anyone else who could love me. I know i don't love him as much as he loves me, but leaving could break him. My family also thinks we won't work out and part of me wants to prove them wrong. I'm just so confused right now. Advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ConfusedKat +, writes (28 June 2007):
ConfusedKat is verified as being by the original poster of the question I'd like to thank everyone who has replied at this time. Isaac, thank you for your pov on my situation. I do recognize that pride is a weakness as you mentioned. Maybe I am looking for a sign to show me what is the right path. To give some more insight into my issue, i'd like to say that my family, including my husband, know that I dated mainly females before marriage. Some of my family is more supporting than others and i've dealt with that. My husband has assured me time and time again that he is okay with this, but asks every so often if he died would I date again and would it be male or female. I know everyone is insecure in relationships at some point. 30 years from now, part of me can see myself with him and kids, but again another says would I be truly happy? We argue like any couple, but sometimes he scares me with the intensity of his responses. There were a few times early on in our marriage when after/during a fight he threatened to leave and return to his former way of life, which wasn't completely legal. That scared me more than him leaving. I don't know why.
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (26 June 2007):
 If you feel like you do not love your husband anymore then you have got to upfront and honest with him about how you feel, otherwise its not fair on him. You can't go through with this marriage with a fear that you might break him. Sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind, sure he will be upset but in the longer term he will thank you for not leading him on.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (26 June 2007):
 You are still young and should not stay in a marriage because you feel you have to, it's not fair on you or your husband and i'm sure your family would think better of you coming out and saying that it is not what you want rather than just trying to please them.
I would then take some time out for yourself and just enjoy life a little befroe getting into another relationship.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (26 June 2007):
 Don't stay with this guy just because you are scared of breaking him. That isn't fair on him. And don't start proving your family right just to stay with him as that isn't fair on the husband either. I am sure he would prefer you to be completely honest. You need to decide if you want to be with him, if you see your future with him. If you don't then its time to be honest and tell your husband you aren't happy.
xxxxxx
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