A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Valentines day past, and he didn't get me anything again. I don't know what's wrong with me but it hurts and I told him before and he said he didn't know how to love me but he says he loves me, and wants to marry me, but that I have to stop getting hurt when he ditches me. On valentines day he came here but then was on his cell and my computer ignored me while he bought himself a new car! A NEW CAR! and video games. Nut it's not that that hurts so much, cause I had a feeling he would forget me again, so I waited to see what he wanted to do then I gave up and I didn't give him the gifts I made/bought for him. I stayed in my room crying, he didn't care - he left to go hang out with his cousins. He says I am too sad some days and I make him miserable but I don't mean to be.He has broken his promises and plans with me so many times the past six months, we never go anywhere cause his plans always change with me, always forgets that he made plans with his friends and he leaves me. Also my grandmother has been sick in the hospital the past few months and he hasn't asked me once how I feel. My family is fighting all the time and I get so lonely and so sad. I wish he would pretend to care at least. I'm so tired of feeling so alone. Did I do wrong by not giving him his valentines day gift? He says he buys himslef things and guess I would do the same for myself so I should have known. I knew better.I wish I could be happier but I'm feeling so down. I feel alone and forgotten. I talked to him bout this but he says I'm always sad and doesn't know what I want. I want to feel loved. I don't know. Any advice? How can I let go of these things?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): wow, it sounds like he's coming around when it's convenient for him. so why do you let yourself be sad with him? Obviously there is a problem steming from your family that you have with letting people make you feel less than what you're worth. Get rid of this guy. Or at least tell him whats up. You are not going to put up with his $hit anymore and if he wants to continue this relationship things are going to change or you'll find someone who will show you you're worthy.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009): there are so many people in dead end relationships these days it just makes you wonder why you bother, better to be by yourself than still with someone and still be on your own, thats the old motto which i aspire to. You need to love yourself and be happy within your own skin that way you can make an informed judgement about someone and not with love goggles on because it is so true that love is blind you only see what you want to see and not the full picture.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (17 February 2009):
 "I want to feel loved."
Get a kitten, at least their paws are fuzzy when they walk all over you and when they treat you as nothing more then a litter cleaner and can opener it is cute.
The headline says you made things miserable for him. Yeah, real nasty of you not to give him his gifts after he ignores you on valentine, doesn't buy you anything and shows of his new car. How can you live with your self you heartless she-devil! (I would hope it is obvious that this is sarcasm)
Most people want to feel loved, that is perfectly understandable but you can't force it. You can't make someone love you, not by giving into them and not by loving them. He doesn't love, if he did he wouldn't act this way.
Your family doesn't seem to give much love but ask yourself, are you not just repeating the same pattern. Going for a guy who doesn't show much love either. Imagine that you have kids with him, what kind of family will they have? An indifferent father and a mother who has been worn out.
As hard as it may be, you got to find happiness on your own first. Learn to love yourself and not be dependant on the tiny amounts of love someone else might throw in your direction if they feel like it. He gets what he wants, a girl who he can treat as he wishes but what are you getting out of it?
You say he still loves you. How does that show? Remember that words are cheap, it is actions that count and what you describe doesn't show me that he loves you.
You feel tired of being alone. Fine, you feel alone when you are with him. So dump him. You would still be alone right? So nothing was lost. At least when you are really alone you can spend your money on gifts for yourself. Double fudge chocolate icecream doesn't make a perfect valentine date but better then the one you had this year.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): Your message is wrong - You are turning this around as if to say "what did i do wrong" when in fact you should be saying "what did he do right?" which is a short answer - nothing very much. you should be saying the guy is a looser and how do i let go. I would not put up with someone so reckless with your heart. You are bright, intelligent and feeling sorry for yourself right now. really sorry but please dump him you will become 10 times stronger like the legends of old - he is sapping your strength and making it your fault he is a tosser. there are millions of men who would treat you better. Go live - don't hide.Hugs, Star.x.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): what he wants is an easy ride, and hes getting one.
hes treating you like a bit of rubbish, and then telling you "dont get upset".
hes trying to control how you feel, therefore making it easier for him to come and go as he pleases. dont let him win. tell him how you feel, then leave him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): dont let go of those things !!
come on dont be so silly, why are you even with him? i mean i can understand if you believe you love him, but take a step back a minute, imagine you are reading that as someone else, what advice you give them?
not getting you a valentines day present is bad enough, especially if youv been together for a while, but coming over to yours, IGNORING you and then having a go becuase your sad?! the boy has it easy, hes simply told you he wants to marry you, which automattically makes you want to hold on to him. he treats you like SH*T and clearly gets away with it. im angry for you. please think of yourself and leave him, you deserve someone who cares about you enough to at least ask about your ill grandmother.
you'll find someone who cares about you, and then this guy will see just what an assh*le he really is.
hope this helps.x
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