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age
41-50,
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writes: I have been dating this guy for about three months. He is wonderful, we are so much compatible and am in love with him (he tells me he is too)We we disscussed our future together and agreed that we would get married sometime. After a while, i brought up the topic and am a little bit confused with what he is saying. I told him am dicided with him, but would wait for him, but he "FORCED" me to say I need time to dicide and that i should slow down cos am in the "fast lane." Could there be something bad coming? I feel discouraged. Should i ask him exactly what he means? Should I just forget about him and move on?Could it be he has changed his mind or is undicided?Could he still love and want me but feels pressured?Whats the best way to handle this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I think i will take it slow and enjoy the time instead of rushing.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2009): 3 months is a drop in the ocean and far too soon to be making plans to get married - instead enjoy the time you have together!
I've been in my current relationship for a little over 8 years. I spoke about marriage a few times but finally at new year 2009, after I said " maybe this year we can get married" he said "yeah, ok"
9 months later.. no date, no plans, no intention of marrying me, just put a ring on my finger to shut me up for as long as possible before making his excuses.
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male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (11 September 2009):
 Three months is the fast lane. It can be perfect, absolutely blissfully perfect, but still not have that staying power. My fiancée just left me after three years together, so I may be a bit jaded, but even after a rapture-level bliss with this girl, the rose-tinted glasses came off and we realized that we were not as right for each other as we thought.
You may be perfect, you may marry him and stay with him for 40 years, but if so, what's another six months to wait? If you're going to spend decades together, it's worth being sure. (And not just sure in your heart, but spending some time learning all those little things that you don't, and can't, notice at first.)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2009): Sweetheart regardless of the fact you think things are right for marriage, you've been together 3 months. I don't think he has cold feet, it's common sense!!! You shouldn't be rushing into something as important as marriage. I'm in a similar situation with my bf, we've been together 8 months and we're getting engaged when he gets back from tour (he is in the army) but we are not planning to get married for a good 3/4 years. This is something you can't risk rushing into! Enjoy the fact that you can be secure and know that he is the man for you and that nobody can change that!
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