A
female
age
36-40,
*agutz
writes: Ok well I've been working with this guy for almost 3 years. We've become really good friends and talk about everything together. Everyone always thinks we're dating..but we're not. Now when I met him, he told me he had a girlfriend and that was fine by me, because at the time I had a boyfriend. We flirt a lot at work but never let it go past that...until yesterday. He wanted to hang out after work, so a group of us got together at a friends. One thing led to another, alcohol was involved and before I knew it we were making out. I ended up back at his apartment where we continued to fool around. We didn't sleep together but I still feel bad. I know his girlfriend doesn't like me already and if she finds out about this it's just going to make matters worse for him. And he's always telling me how badly she treats him. In a way I feel bad for what happened, but then again I don't. He told me last night that he had been thinking about "us" for awhile. What do I do?? He's been with his girlfriend for almost 4 years.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): I would leave him alone as his girlfriend doesn't deserve this even if she's hard to deal with, and you would not like it done to you.
A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (17 March 2007):
If he really cared about her or his relationship with her he certainly would not be looking to play with someone else.
With what little you have said about her it sounds like he is in a relationship that he isn't really happy with.
It matters not how long he has been with her, if it is not working it is not working.
If you think you like him and he likes you then let the relationship between the both of you proceed.
Wouldn't it be a horrible thing for him to have to stick with her out of a sense of duty rather than because he loves her?
She is a big girl and can take care of herself so don't worry about her. You just do what is good for you and him. If that means that ultimately you end up in a relationship with him....well, her loss. Doc.
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